Such a Crybaby
by Wicked White Queen
Summary: Miyuki and Shizuma deal with life after graduation and try to come to terms with how life at Astraea Hill never prepared them for the real world. Friendships are tested and relationships are strained to the breaking point.
1. Chapter 1

Note: Standard disclaimers apply. Also, this is the serious fic that I want to publish alongside the humor fic, but this will undoubtedly be much longer. I didn't originally plan it that way, but hey, what're ya gonna do? It's still rated M though and for many of the same reasons as the humor fic: cursing, alcohol, sex…pick a vice.

I always thought that Miyuki would end up being the most unhappy out of all the characters in _Strawberry Panic, _not only because of her unrequited love for Shizuma, but because she was destined to be married off to some guy right after she graduates. That sucks so much. The poor girl is in love with her best friend, sees this friend fall in love, not once, but _twice_, and never with her. Yeesh.

Anyway, the first chapter is kind of short, but the next should be much longer.

----------------------------------------------

_Your daughter is in Miator, isn't she? _

_Yes. _

_Excellent. I'm very glad to hear it. Their clear respect for tradition has given them quite the reputation. _

_We're very proud of her. As a matter of fact, she's the student council president._

_Oh really? That's very good. It shows that she's embraced the values prized by Miator. _

_Yes, she is the paradigm of everything they represent. She's obedient, intelligent, respectful...she'll make an ideal wife for your son. We look forward to the day when our families are united by this marriage. _

_Very good. I'm more convinced than ever that we made the right decision all those years ago. After she graduates, we'll begin making the proper arrangements. Until then, we'll keep in touch. _

-------------------------------------------------

Miyuki retched in the toilet bowl, but she hadn't eaten for two days, so all that came from her mouth was a thin stream of saliva. The violent fits of vomiting only occurred late at night, when she was alone in her room and had nothing to occupy her except for her lonely thoughts. Her mother might have told her that it was just pre-wedding jitters that sent her running to the bathroom every night, but Miyuki knew better. Her stomach was rebelling because of something far beyond mere nerves.

During the day, shuffled between the shops of florists and seamstresses, dragged to the homes of relatives and future in-laws; her upcoming wedding still seemed surreal. But at night, after the visitors were gone and the well-wishers had said their goodbyes, after her parents told her how proud they were of her and sent her to bed to get plenty of rest, Miyuki had time to think. And thinking was the last thing she wanted to do. Her thoughts were mainly of the future and the wife she would soon become, and though she dreaded her marriage, she could cope with these thoughts. She had responsibilities, after all.

It was always after dealing with the thoughts of marriage that she would spend hours staring out of her window and thinking of other things. She would so often think of the soft notes of a distant piano or running through a field just to glance at the glittering stars dancing across the night sky. Unlike some people she knew, and one person in particular, Miyuki knew that once she was married, she would never again have the chance to simply _run_.

It was easy to fake those smiles she wore for the benefit of her family and it was easy to accept their congratulations with relative enthusiasm. After all, her union with the son of one of the oldest families in Japan was going to firmly establish her family as one of the _elite. _

Though his family was established and _very_ well respected, their great wealth was almost gone, lost through a series of bad real estate ventures by his careless grandfather. Not long after his death, the eldest son, a much more savvy businessman with a good eye for investments, immediately began shopping for a wealthy daughter-in-law for his newborn boy. He found a few likely girls, but it was the Rokujo family and their money from a wildly successful software company that caught his eye. A few meetings and it was settled; their children would be married and both families would benefit from the other.

Miyuki knew that this was the single greatest reason that her parents were so eager to see their daughter wed. With her marriage to this man she had never even met, they would gain the respect that came from an association with such an old family, while their wealth would revitalize the former fortunes of a failing empire.

Oh, she had seen photographs, of course, and he was handsome enough. Tall and athletic, with a bright smile and broad shoulders, he was everything a girl could ask for in a husband. She also knew from speaking with her father that her betrothed was an intelligent man that loved playing American football and chess. Her father had met with him several times while she was still in school, mainly so he could determine if this man was good enough for his daughter. Though he wanted his family to be connected with a powerful name, he was a good man and he wanted to see his little girl be married to someone that would treat her with respect. Miyuki was grateful for his concern, but a part of her wanted to scream that his concern wouldn't even be necessary if he would think about _her _instead of the damned lineage.

She heaved again and tasted salt on her lips from the tears coursing down her cheeks.

Ever pragmatic and sensible, she knew that she should be proud that she was going to be the one responsible for the glory of her household, yet it was difficult to reconcile this with the wild terror she felt at being sold off like a prize heifer at a country market.

Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she unsteadily rose from the cold tiled floor so she could clean herself up before heading back to bed. As she brushed her teeth and splashed cool water on her face, she carefully examined her reflection in the mirror. While she never thought of herself as exceptionally attractive, she had always taken pride in her appearance. Neat and exact and professional. That was how Miyuki wanted the world to view her.

The Miyuki that once roamed the halls of Astraea with her immaculate uniform and stiff posture was gone, replaced by a pale, thin creature with defeated eyes. She almost chuckled when she saw herself. Instead of the polished obsidian hair that shined so that it seemed to reflect the hues of the summer sky, she now saw the dark strands sticking to her damp cheeks like ink spilled on a white canvas. Deep brown eyes that burned with intelligence and ambition, those eyes that flared when she argued with the representatives of the other houses during council meetings; they were now dull and flat. When Miyuki thought of what her old council rival Shion might say if she saw her then, she _did _laugh.

Then she thought of what her best friend might say and the sad laughter died in her throat. Choking on another sob, she closed her eyes and reached for the light switch. Carefully navigating through the darkness, Miyuki finally reached her bed and crawled under the blankets, praying for sleep to steal her away from her own mind.

She couldn't think anymore, not about the wedding, her responsibilities, her family...and certainly not about Shizuma. It was too much and she was so tired. So tired.

Miyuki finally fell into a fitful slumber just as the sun started to rise over the horizon and color the earth in all the shifting, translucent shades of morning.

--------------------------------------------------------

Note: Up next, Shizuma and Nagisa, maybe some Tamao too. Oh! I really like Shion, so of course she'll have a place in this fic. Review if you'd like and let me know how this thing is going. Til next time!


	2. Chapter 2

"Is she in one of her moods?"

"I'm afraid so, sir. She was…well, she's been much worse today. I think she might have been received some bad news."

"Broken window?"

"No, not this time." Ami held up the shattered remains of an expensive laptop, smiling when the handsome Englishman raised an eyebrow. If any man ever deserved to be called _dashing_, then that man was Mr. Alexander Marlowe. She couldn't help being just a little bit jealous of the attention he lavished on her boss. "Once she received that email, she kind of lost it. I'm going to try to save the memory, 'cause she really will flip once she figures out that she's smashed the computer with this month's reports."

Alex chuckled and ran his fingers across the light shadow darkening his chin. His blonde hair was getting too long and he needed a quick shave, but it wasn't as if Shion would even look up from her work to notice. "You're a hell of a lot braver than I am, Ami. If she really has damaged the memory in that thing, then I'm sure she'll find some way to make you take the blame."

Ami looked at him in confusion. Strict and punctual, almost draconian in her work habits, her boss was a real bitch when it came to deadlines and documents, but she would never shift blame onto her assistant for something that wasn't her fault. "But, sir, she would never do anything like that! She's…"

Covering his heart with his hand, Alex assumed what he hoped was a dramatic pose. "Alas, I was trying to weasel my way into making a chivalrous boast so I could defend you against that computer-breaking banshee, but you're just too damned loyal. I hope you realize that you're breaking my heart."

The secretary beamed at his charming grin and ostentatious theatrics. Like every other female employee at the prestigious firm, Ami nearly fell out of her chair when he made his visits, but Ice Queen Shion was a bit more difficult to impress. Ami just didn't understand her sometimes. She had this Adonis practically begging her for a date every afternoon, but Shion brushed off his advances as if she didn't even notice them. Both blessed with shining blonde hair and sapphire eyes, they'd make a stunning couple…provided Shion would ever leave her office long enough to allow him to take her to dinner.

_Crash! _

Both glanced at the closed office door when they heard a series of loud bangs. A faint dial tone could be heard between muffled expletives and heavy footsteps. Ami groaned when she imagined Shion hurling another fax machine into the floor.

Thoughtfully tapping his chin, Alex mumbled, "Hmm. Maybe I should have brought flowers…"

"I don't think that would help you sir. The last bouquet you brought ended up on my desk instead of hers, though they did brighten things up around here."

Alex turned to Ami with a devilish grin. "Well then, tell me _your_ favorite flowers. Roses, lilies, carnations…?"

"I'm sorry sir, but shouldn't you be asking me about _her_ favorites?"

The grin widened when he saw her blush. Every single time he brought flowers to Shion, she gave them to Ami before he even had time to make it back to the elevator. Were it not for the fact that she made certain he witnessed her giving away his gifts, he would have given up his pursuit a long time ago. She took playing hard to get to an entirely different level. "Well, at least if I bring her your favorite flowers, I'll know _someone _enjoys them when she tosses them away."

Ami laughed and waved him towards the door. He was absolutely incorrigible. "If that's the case, then bring her some violets. I've always been very fond of them and they'll look great on my desk."

"Violets? Consider it done." Alex winked and jerked his head towards the now-silent office. "I better get in there before she manages to push the desk through the window. From eighteen stories, I can imagine that it would make quite a mess."

"Well, it's your funeral, sir, but I'll buzz you in. Just a sec…"

Calmly picking up the phone, Ami dialed the direct extension to Shion's office and waited for an answer. "Yes, ma'am. You have a visitor. Hmm? Actually, it's just Mr. Marlowe and…"

Ami quickly pulled the phone from her ear so that she wouldn't be deafened by the roar on the other end of the line. "Yes, I'll send him in. Yes, I'm working on it right now. Of course I can save it. I'm your computer whiz kid, remember? Ma'am…? Are you still there? Hello?" A faint click and the line was disconnected. Ami smiled at Alex once more and pointed to the office, where a furious Shion had wrenched open the door and was standing with her hands on her hips.

Alex swallowed hard when he saw her long legs in that deliciously short skirt, but he quickly brought his eyes to meet her face before she saw the direction of his appreciative gaze. Of course his gaze went from her legs to the golden hair illuminated by the late afternoon sunlight streaming through her windows, then back down to her chest…but he was trying, damn it. He grinned. It was all her fault for being so gorgeous.

Narrowing her cold blue eyes, Shion ensured that he saw her displeasure before she invited him into her sanctuary. "If you're coming in, then you better do it before I change my mind. I have a lot of work to do and I don't have time to waste on your foolishness." Without another word, Shion spun on her heel and retreated into her organized world, leaving Alex to either leave or follow. It mattered little to her. She had a major problem and his silly attempts to seduce her were the last thing she wanted to deal with that day.

Alex looked at Ami and shrugged before standing from his seat. "I must thank you for your time, Ami. As always, it's been a pleasure."

"Good luck. You'll need it. Oh! And Alex…?"

He turned just as he was preparing to enter the lair of the feared lioness. "Yeah?"

Ami was busily digging through a drawer to find a small screwdriver so she could begin work on retrieving the laptop's memory. Finally able to concentrate now that she wasn't so pleasantly distracted by Alex's banter, she didn't even raise her eyes from her task.

"Next time you visit, bring two bouquets. Violets for me, of course, but bring her a few pink roses. I'm pretty sure that those are her favorites."

"Pink roses? Kind of girly for her, aren't they? I figured she would like something along the lines of a Venus fly-trap or poison ivy."

Ami chuckled. "Yeah, and she'll probably kill me for telling you, so try to keep it a secret, eh? The big tough career woman doesn't want anyone to know that she has a soft side. And if you really want to impress her, try taking her for coffee. That's her lifeblood, you know."

"Pink roses and coffee? Ami, I could kiss you for telling me that."

"Hey, if that doesn't have her falling for you, then you know where to find me."

------------------------

"So, what the hell are you doing here? Again." Shion folded her fingers together and placed them on her desk blotter, trying so very hard to disguise her impatience. She was not in the mood for his games. "I told you yesterday, just like the day before that, and the day before that, I'm simply not interested in …"

Alex ignored the cushioned seat she provided for him and sat on the edge of her desk. Her office never failed to amaze him. On the eighteenth floor, just two below some of Tokyo's most powerful executives, Shion's office was impressive. Mahogany desk, leather furniture, a framed sketch by none other than Van Gogh himself hanging on the wall; all of these expensive trappings should have belonged to men and women much older than her.

He knew she was brilliant, but it was hard to believe that she had finished graduate school and was already ascending the corporate ladder in such a swift fashion. Had it been any other leggy blonde with a killer rack, he might have said that she slept her way to the top, but he had been in too many arguments with the scowling bitch to even consider something so ridiculous. She was the most intelligent woman he had ever met-- cunning, shrewd and utterly ruthless. He hadn't realized that anyone could be so intoxicating.

"So, Ami tells me that you're having a rough morning. Something about a broken laptop…"

Shion's upper lip turned up in a very tight smirk. Ami gossiped too much for her own good. "She should mind her own affairs and spend less time worrying about mine."

"Oh, it makes her happy to worry about you, so give the girl a break. You're too rough on her."

Aware that he was trying valiantly to keep his eyes on her face, Shion shifted in her seat so that her skirt climbed her thighs. She smiled when Alex cleared his throat and stepped away from the desk, pacing in an effort to think of anything except her legs. "I hardly think that you came all the way here to chastise me about the treatment of my secretary, Alex. What do you want?"

Away from the sheltered feminine cocoon of Astraea Hill, Shion quickly learned that men were amazingly simple creatures. It was so easy to show them _just _enough skin, reward them with veiled smiles and fluttering eyelashes…and laugh when they tripped over their tongues in order to serve her. She was very fond of men, but she was very fond of _one_ man in particular.

Though she loved to torment her English suitor, she figured it was almost time to reward him. Tapping her varnished nails against the rich wood desktop, she waited for Alex to make his daily request, pleased when he finally stopped his pacing and regained his spot on her desk. So accustomed to his daily visits and casual attitude regarding seating arrangments, she made sure that she kept any important documents to the side so that he wouldn't crumple her paperwork. "I'm waiting."

"I heard the agonized shrieks of a future CEO and I came running to her rescue…"

"Try again."

"Okay. I decided to swing by because Ami said you needed someone to paint your office…"

Shion raised a single eyebrow and silently urged him to continue. If nothing else, he was very amusing.

"Fine then. I figured you might fancy one hell of a shag, so I thought I might throw you on this desk and make you moan like a whore."

Shion blinked twice, shocked by his audacity. Normally he begged her to accompany him to dinner or for drinks, but he was always a perfect gentleman. True, he was mischievous and flirty, but he had never been so…

Oh, he was in _so _much trouble.

Rising to her feet, she placed her hands on either side of his body, leaning into him so that her hips were on his and her lips were brushing his earlobes. "Ooh…that is certainly a tempting thought…" She gently kissed his cheek, but grabbed his chin when it seemed that he would turn his head to meet her lips. Softly laughing at his disappointed sigh, she pulled away and clasped her hands behind her back. "However, I trust that you are well aware that by making any of your fellow employees 'moan like whores' you are setting yourself up for financial ruin in a sexual harassment lawsuit."

"Including you?"

"_Especially_ me."

"Damn."

Shion picked up a pen and resumed her work, confident that Alex would soon leave her office to go to his own. She waited, but he was in one of his damned persistent moods.

"Well, since I'm opposed to lawsuits, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to go to dinner with me. I've just found the best filet mignon in the city…"

"I'm a vegetarian."

"Best pasta?"

"Refined flour."

"Sushi?"

"Water-borne parasites."

"Ice cream?"

"Fattening."

"How about a walk in the park then?"

"Delicate lungs." Shion covered her mouth and quietly coughed, smiling into her palm when he rolled his eyes. "Smog and car exhaust, you know. The air quality in this town isn't the best…"

Alex groaned. It was the same thing every afternoon, but like any addict, he kept coming back for the next fix. Shion was worse than heroin and he couldn't get enough of her. "Good God woman! What will it take to get you to spend a bit of time with me?"

"I've told you. I have no time to pursue a relationship. I fully intend on being the youngest executive in the history of this company and I can't afford to…"

"Yes, you can't afford to waste your time with me. I get it."

Shion looked up from her report when she heard the defeated tone in his voice. If he could wait just a few months more, then she would be happy to allow him the opportunity to court her, but she had dreams that she couldn't see destroyed by careless behavior. "Please understand. I can't let another person into my life right now. I've worked for this since I was a child and I don't want…"

"It's just dinner." Alex was an excellent tactician and he recognized a weakness when he saw one. She needed a break in the worst sort of way. "I'm not asking you to marry me. Not yet, anyway."

"Oh God, don't even mention anything like that! I'm having problems enough with marriage as it is."

"What?!" Alex nearly choked. All this time, he thought she was a cold-hearted career-hungry bitch, but maybe she ignored him because of an engagement. "Are you…?"

"What? NO! Not me!" Shion thought back to the email that caused her to throw her laptop against the wall. She had long ago received her invitation to Miyuki's wedding, but she hadn't really believed that her old rival would go through with it, so she returned her RSVP with a smug grin, confident that spunky Miyuki would eventually tell her parents to go to hell. Now, only three days from the wedding, Shion had opened a very racy email from Shizuma, inviting her to Miyuki's bachelorette party.

She had never been so furious in her entire life.

College was a blur of classes and late nights, endless studying and incredibly difficult exams. There was no time to party or relax, not when graduate school and internships required every second of her precious time. It would have been easy if she allowed herself to take a normal class load, but she had been driven to perfection by her rivalry with Miyuki.

Both were brilliant and destined for greatness; since their graduation, every student at Astraea Hill was told to pour their minds into the molds crafted by the clever and dedicated class presidents. When one of them received high marks on a test or a report, the other was working tirelessly to score higher, to be better…to be the _best_. When they all too often found themselves unable to defeat each other academically, they began competing on the next playing field, moving the brightest and most impressive students from their respective schools like pieces on a political chessboard.

Student government at Astraea Hill had never been the same.

Shion wanted to punch Miyuki for denying herself the opportunity to become more than some bastard's housewife. She had long considered the system of arranged marriages to be antiquated and entirely outdated, and until just a few weeks ago, she thought Miyuki agreed with her. They had certainly spent enough time arguing with the sisters about the rights of women during their time in school, so what the hell happened to make Miyuki change her mind? What happened to the girl that screamed until her throat was raw during council meetings? What happened to the girl that was meant to be Shion's competition in the corporate world?

Shion had finished graduate school with blistering speed, leaving behind a trail of impressed professors and shattering all academic records. Now she was sitting in her own office, just a few months away from the next promotion that would push her even closer to her goals, but it was all too fucking _easy! _

What happened to the _only _person that had ever been able to defeat her?

What happened to Miyuki?

"Are you alright?"

Shion felt a cool sensation on her hand and realized that she had snapped the barrel of her favorite pen in half. Ink leaked between her fingers and stained her ivory skin, ruining the effect of her plum nail polish. Damn.

Alex carefully extracted the broken pen from her grip and tossed it in a drawer. Searching for a tissue and finding none, he removed his jacket and wiped her hand on the interior lining. "You didn't cut yourself on the pieces, did you?"

"No, but that was my favorite pen and now you've ruined your jacket."

"Pity about that. I was rather fond of it myself."

Shion smiled and squeezed his hand. "Well then, I suppose I'll have to make it up to you. As much as it disgusts me, I have to attend a wedding for an old friend this weekend and I need a date. Are you interested?"

"What exactly disgusts you? The wedding or my company?"

Snarling, Shion punched him in the knee and snatched the coat from his grip. "I wouldn't have invited you if I found you disgusting, you sarcastic jerk. I just don't want to go and see one of my oldest friends marry some bastard because of some arrangement between their parents."

Alex was very glad that he had been born in England. The only arranged marriages there were between members of the royal family, and he had a sneaking suspicion that they were arranged by the publishers of the tabloids instead of by mere political convenience. "An arranged union, is it? Should I feel sympathy for the bride or the groom? If your friend is anything like you, then…"

Shion considered slapping him, but it she knew that Alex meant it as an odd sort of compliment. He was the only person she had ever met that admired her for being a bitch. "If you knew Miyuki the way I know her, you would understand why I'm so damned upset with her. The stupid girl is so intelligent and she could be so much more than just a housewife, but she just…ooh!"

Shion smiled and Alex thought he had never seen anything quite so beautiful. "She has so much _potential, _Alex. A mind like hers is wasted in some old-fashioned marriage. If she would work with me instead of throwing her life away, we could change the world."

"She could still work, you know. She doesn't have to spend her life making babies just because she's getting married."

He missed the point entirely. Shion sighed and glared at her ruined manicure. Not only did she have to find a dress for the wedding, now she had to have her nails done again. She swore to kill Miyuki for ruining her weekend. "Alex, don't you have somewhere you need to be?"

Grinning, he kissed her cheek and whispered, "Yes, I need to get back to my desk and try to figure out how the hell I'm going to live on a vegetarian diet this weekend."

"Vegetarian? What the hell are you talking about?"

"I knew you were lying! That's it, woman. You're going out with me tonight and we're getting a steak and a beer."

Shion tugged at his tie and pulled him closer. Nibbling at his bottom lip, she said, "I would much rather take you up on your other offer."

"Other offer? What other…?" When she tossed his tie into the floor and began pulling his shirttail from his pants, he understood what she meant. "Well, that wasn't really an offer so much as it was a _very_ indecent proposal, but…"

"Shut up." Shion kissed him so hard that his head hit the surface of the desk and her teeth cut his lip. Grabbing a fistful of hair, he pulled her off long enough to wipe away the blood and take a few deep breaths. Smiling, he pulled her down again and returned the favor, unable to believe that six months of perfect manners were a complete waste. He would have pissed her off weeks ago if he knew how much she liked a little conflict.

"Does this mean I can take advantage of your idea and sue you for sexual harassment?"

"Why, that depends on your performance, Alex. After your earlier boast, I'm fully prepared to make a counter suit and take you to court for making false claims. Don't you dare disappoint me. This is going to make me late for my…my…my God, Alex. Keep doing _that _and I may cancel tomorrow's meetings as well. You're terrible for productivity."

------------------------------------------

"_Thanks for playing lookout tonight. I'm glad you distracted the sisters so I could meet her." Shizuma peeked through the door and checked the hallway once more. Good. Nobody saw her sneaking back into her room. Hair tangled and buttons still artfully undone, there would have been no way that she could have talked her way out of a predicament like that. She shut the door and turned to Miyuki with a bright smile, cheeks still flushed from both the thrill of the illicit encounter and the mad dash back to the dormitory wing. "I had a great time. I can't say thank you enough."_

"_Hmm. Yes. Good for you." Miyuki turned a page and tried to rattle the paper so that she could drown the sounds of her best friend's excited breaths. That was the third time in a week that she had to interrupt her studies so Shizuma could meet one of her many girlfriends. _

"_Oh, but she was good, Miyuki. Very good indeed. This one could do tricks with her tongue that I'd only read about in romance novels. She could even…"_

"_Yes, well, now that you've sneaked back in, I don't suppose you could be quiet, could you? I'm trying to study for my French exam." Imagining Shizuma locked in the arms of yet another girl was nearly enough to drive her to tears. It was so much easier to retreat into her studies and concentrate on verbs and tenses than it was to think of how she was again ignored for another faceless body. _

_Shizuma closed the distance between them and looked over Miyuki's shoulder. Since she had the book opened to a chapter that they had long ago covered in class, Shizuma felt certain that Miyuki just grabbed a random textbook and flipped it open to make it seem as if she were studying. Slipping her arm around Miyuki's slender form, she quickly snatched the book from her desk and began thumbing through the pages. Exasperated, she tossed the heavy tome on the floor and declared, "If you'd close this book and get out of this room every now and again, you might get a chance to learn something new. French. Honestly. You need a lesson or two in French if you ask me."_

"_Please. I hardly need academic advice from you. I'm doing just fine on my own."_

_Surprised at Miyuki's curt response, Shizuma kicked the book underneath her bed. It wasn't her fault that she was always in a bad mood. "Don't play the prude with me. You know exactly what I meant. When's the last time that you even let someone kiss you, Miyuki?"_

"_Just because I don't…" Miyuki froze when Shizuma moved behind her and slowly ran her fingers through her dark hair. She closed her eyes and lost herself in that touch for the briefest of seconds, then slapped her hand away and reached for another book. _

"_Don't what? Whore around like me? Isn't that what you want to say?"_

"_Don't be silly, Shizuma. You know that I would never think that about you. It's just that…"_

_Smirking, Shizuma leaned down so that her cheek rested against Miyuki's. She could feel the heated blood rush under her skin as the blush crept over her face. "My, my, my. Blushing are we? Tell me, have you even been kissed before?"_

"_Of-of course I have!"_

"_Oh really?" Shizuma had no way of knowing that the scent of rain and summer was still clinging to her hair from her excursion in the garden, so she didn't know that Miyuki was dizzy from the heavy perfume. "Who was she? Is she anybody I know?"_

"_St-stop it. I just have some difficult classes and I don't have time to spend away from my studies."_

"_Well, you know that I'm very good at French and I'm one hell of a good teacher. Ask any of the girls I've 'taught'. You wouldn't even have to study if I showed you what I know." Planting a loud kiss on her cheek, Shizuma giggled and walked across the room to collapse on her bed. She was exhausted. _

"_If you taught me all that you know, then I would never get any studying done. It's not as if you even care what I do anyway." Miyuki thought she kept her voice low enough so that Shizuma wouldn't hear, but as soon as she spoke, she realized that every muttered word was overheard. _

_All traces of her earlier mirth gone, Shizuma sat up and angrily threw a pillow at Miyuki's head. She just didn't understand; until her heart was broken, Miyuki would never understand what it meant to be so lonely. "Oh! Is that so? Listen to Miyuki, the ever bitter one! Sounds like you're just jealous!"_

"_I am not bitter!" She couldn't deny that she was jealous, violently envious of the blind affection given to everyone except her, but Shizuma didn't notice the silent admission. The teasing girl that entered the room just a few moments ago had been switched by a changeling of the vilest sort. Regretting the words even as she uttered them, Shizuma purred, "Please. I don't even know why you spend so much time studying anyway. It's not like you're ever going to use it." _

"_And what do you mean by that?"_

"_Oh, don't act so dumb. You know exactly what I mean. Once school's over, you'll be married to that guy and you'll spend the rest of your life making babies and cooking his meals. French and calculus won't matter when you have a baby on your hip and a spatula in your hand." It was too late and she wanted to take it back, but she had been too hurt by her trusted friend's unspoken accusations. She wanted Miyuki to hurt with her. It had always been that way, so why should now be any different? _

"_How could you even say something like that to me? You know I don't-I don't want to m-marry that man!" _

_Mind churning in an effort to think of a way to stop the tears falling from Miyuki's shocked eyes, Shizuma hesitated before replying, "Exactly! You'll be stuck with him and you won't even have any happy memories of your time here. You're going to look back one day and wish that you had taken my advice. You need to live a little before you die, Miyuki! You know, have some fun, go wild, fall in love…"_

_Dropping her face into her hands, afraid that she would be called a crybaby again, Miyuki stammered, "Shizuma. Just…just be quiet, okay? I have to…I…have to study…"_

"_Miyuki, I didn't mean…"_

"_Please! I've already lost enough time waiting for you, so just leave me alone and let me finish my work. Just go to sleep. I'll be quiet, okay? You won't even notice me." _

_-----------------------------------_

"Goddamnit." Shizuma pushed sweat dampened locks of hair out of her eyes and sat up in the bed, tossing the sheets to the floor. Moving quietly so that she wouldn't wake Nagisa, she stepped into the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. She could have kicked herself for forgetting to pay the power bill. It was hot as hell with no air conditioning.

Living with Nagisa in a small apartment was far different from what she was accustomed to at Astraea Hill. She was used to cleaning crews and room temps, cooks and prepared meals, aware that everything she could possibly need would be at her fingertips.

This new life, though exciting and new, was more than she could handle at times. She was grateful for the constant presence of Nagisa, who was able to navigate the twisted routes of the mundane world with the ease of one born into mediocrity. Having a wealthy family had its advantages, but there were times that Shizuma wished she had been sent to a school where they were taught subjects other than European languages and music.

Of course, since those were the only subjects that interested her, those were the only classes her family forced her to take. They didn't really seem to mind what she did as long as she did it quietly. Even her relationship with Nagisa didn't upset her parents nearly as much as she thought it would. She smiled in the darkness of the bathroom, remembering what her mother told her when she admitted her love for another woman.

_Well, I can't say that I'm surprised, especially since we went through all that trouble with my sister after she went to Astraea, but we simply can't have you running about with a woman on your arm, dear. As long as you don't interfere with your father's business and you keep it to yourself, I don't see why you can't have your little fling. It's not as if you stay with anything for long. _

At least her mother paid for two years of rent, so that was one fewer bill for her to worry about.

Running a washcloth under the tap, Shizuma dabbed the damp cloth on her face and sighed as the cool water evaporated on her skin. Nagisa had told her over and over again to make sure that she paid the power bill by the fourteenth, but it was so easy to forget such an easy task. She was used to her father's accountants handling her finances. Keeping up with her own bills was difficult, in its own way. It was just too easy to forget sometimes.

Lifting her thick curtain of hair and clipping it to the top of her head, she felt a slight bit of relief from the heat, but not nearly enough to warrant that huge mound of silver falling into her eyes. Angrily tearing the clip from her hair, she tossed it in the sink and let her tangled locks tumble down her back.

Christ, it was hot.

"Shizuma? What are you doing?"

She felt Nagisa slip behind her and lay her head on her shoulder. Though her body heat added to the sweltering temperature in the tiny bathroom, she didn't try to move her. She needed that contact, that intimacy after waking so abruptly. Having Nagisa so close almost felt like she was being forgiven for some of her past transgressions.

"Nothing. I just got a little too warm and needed to cool off. I didn't mean to wake you."

Nagisa lifted Shizuma's hair and gently blew a stream of air onto her sweaty skin. "I've been awake since I heard you crying in your sleep. What kind of dream were you having?"

Shizuma bit her lip and reached for Nagisa's hand. Flashes of memory coiled on themselves until she could see nothing but multihued swirls of oil over water. The dreams were indistinct and impossible to retrieve once awake, but she knew if she could still the pools of her mind long enough, the image on the surface would clear and she could see what she was meant to see. "It was just a dream. I'm fine. The heat is messing with my head, I suppose."

Nagisa didn't believe her, but she knew it was useless to try and force a confession. "Well, I opened the windows a bit more, so it's a little cooler in the bedroom. Let's go back to sleep. We still have to go out in the morning and get the gift for Miyuki's party, remember?"

Shizuma tried to look at her reflection in the inky nothingness of the bathroom mirror, but all she saw were shadows. "Do you think this party is a good idea?"

Nagisa kissed her shoulder and smiled, tasting salt and sweat on her skin. "Don't be silly. You're the one that's always telling me how much she needs to have a good time, so I think this will be just the thing to make her relax a bit before the big day. I'm beginning to think you're more nervous about this wedding than she is."

"I don't think that Miyuki is nervous at all." _I think she's absolutely petrified. She can't do this. It'll kill her. God, what the hell am I going to do?_

"Good then. Come on back to bed and stop worrying so much."

---------------------------------------------

Note: I've always felt that Shion was straight. (or so in love with power that she was really married to her career)

I can't really explain it, but that was the vibe I got from both the anime and the manga. I don't recall a single instance where it seemed that she felt anything at all for any of the other girls at Astraea Hill beyond friendship--or just competitive bitchiness with Miyuki and Chikaru. Plus, I can totally see her using her brains and looks to manipulate men to make it to the top. Shion's pretty bad-ass and I've always liked her. Pity she doesn't have that many fans. I LOVED the fights between the presidents (and the sneaky way Chikaru always seemed to be listening to every word), which is one big reason that I had to have Shion in this fic.

Oh! I still want to add Tamao in this fic somewhere, so I'll work on that too. Cheers!


	3. Chapter 3

Note: I'm sure you've noticed by now that I always skip honorifics in anime/manga based fics. I do this simply because I'd rather not run the risk of butchering a system that I don't know that well. I'm fairly certain that I know when to use _-chan,_ _-sama_, etc., but I would rather leave all honorifics off instead of using the wrong one in the wrong spot. I hope this makes sense.

Also, my apologies for the short length, but this is just a quickie update to get myself back into the spirit of this fic. Ugh. I've just been so flippin' busy this summer that I've not had time to work on this story at all. I've completely lost my little mental thread thingie, but hopefully I'll be able to find my way back into the groove that I started to dig a few weeks ago. So, here we go.

-----------------------------------------------------

"Well, you're going and that's all there is to it."

"I am _not _going and _that _is all there is to it."

"That is it, boy. I've ignored your bullshit for years, but I'll not bend on this one. You have absolutely no choice in this matter."

"I don't have a...? Are you kidding me? You act like this is just another of your damned property acquisitions instead of a..."

"Property acquisitions, eh? Well, well, well. It's nice to see that you paid at least _some _attention to those second rate classes of yours."

"Second rate? I graduated top of my class in one of the most difficult..."

Light flared from a match and illuminated the worn gold band on the thick finger of the man seated at his desk. The pungent smoke from the smoldering cigar curled about his shoulders like the arms of a beautiful woman before vanishing into the darkness of the study beyond. He smiled, well aware that his overly health-conscious son despised smoking almost as he despised his old man.

Carefully plucking a stray bit of tobacco from his tongue, he rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger until it dried enough to be flicked into the marble ashtray. Savoring both the sweet smoke and the expression on Tadashi's face, he slyly remarked, "Oh, don't look so offended. I know the only reason you chose that piece of shit American college was to play your idiotic football. Why the hell do you think I encouraged it, eh?"

Tadashi's eyes narrowed as he regarded his father. Placing his palms on the desk, he tried to ignore the bitter clouds so that he could squarely meet the all-too familiar eyes across from him. Exasperated, he said, "Well, I really have no clue. Tell me. Why did you allow it?"

"Truthfully, I'd hoped that you'd grow up a bit before you made it home, but you've disappointed me again. You were supposed to drink yourself stupid and fuck every sorority girl and cheerleader you met so that you'd be ready to settle down with your new wife, but…"

"You wanted me to _what?" _This was too much, even for him. What the hell had happened to his dad in the past few years to turn him from a fairly reasonable man into such a money-hungry bastard? Yes, his father expected him to marry that girl, but he had never before acted in such a manner. "How do you think Mom would like it if she heard you say something like that?"

Too far. He had finally pressed the old man too far. The memory of his beloved wife was a sensitive subject even when they were getting along, but now...

There was silence for a moment as the burning cherry dimmed under its coat of heavy gray ash. Tadashi watched his old man grind the stub of his cigar between his teeth and briefly wondered if he truly enjoyed the harsh flavor of tobacco, or whether he kept one in his mouth because of some bet lost years ago to some nameless acquaintance.

His father was so fastidious about every other facet of life that a habit as vile as smoking still seemed alien to the young man, though he had smoked as long as Tadashi could remember. He almost laughed. Trying to conjure a memory of his dad _without _a stogie lodged in his jaws proved to be a greater challenge than presenting this final argument about his upcoming nuptials to the family patriarch.

It wasn't that he didn't want to help out his family. Far from it. He knew that they relied on him to return them to their former glory, but he felt confident that he could do it using his brains instead of his dick. Why did he even go to school for all of those dreadful business courses if all they needed was a stallion to mount their chosen filly? Goddamnit, he _knew _he could restore the family fortunes without marrying that girl. "Father, don't be like…"

"Never interrupt me again, Tadashi. I don't appreciate it and if you do it again, I'll make damn certain that you don't appreciate it either."

"It's not that…"

"You're meeting this girl tonight, you're shaking her father's hand and you're damn well going to impress the hell out of these people. Got it?"

Tadashi groaned. He knew he should have joined the military and been shipped to some desolate region where survival hinged on wits and skill, not on money or politics. Living on dehydrated meals and fending off bloodthirsty insects, sleeping in puddles and caves, even fighting bears for scraps left in trash cans...

Hell, anything at all seemed preferable to this marriage.

He was less than impressed with the photos of his bride-to-be; she was certainly cute enough, but the scowl on her face that seemed as much a part of her as her dark hair surely meant that she was a bitch from hell.

His father waved his cigar for emphasis, failing to notice that a few embers fell to the expensive rug at his feet. Tadashi bit back a grin, imagining how his dad would rant and sputter once he would discover the tiny singed holes in yet another prized family artifact. "I don't see the problem anyway. She's an attractive girl and from all accounts, she's intelligent and quiet, so it's not as if she's going to be any problems for you."

"Yeah, she's really pretty, but you're missing the point. I made excellent grades and I've learned a lot from those internships, so I know I can find a way to bring the business back to what it was before…"

"Oh? You think so?"

"I _know_ so, father."

"If you think you can work all of these miracles, then go ahead and work them. It doesn't matter because we're going to meet the Rokujo family tonight for dinner and you're still marrying their daughter on Saturday."

"There's no need for me to marry that girl if…"

His father smiled and Tadashi was once again disturbed to see that they had the same charming grin. Thankfully he was his late mother's son, in looks as well as personality. He was proud to know that he had his mother's dark eyes and easy, affable manner, but it bothered him to know that in spite of all the traits that he shared with his mom, it was his _father's_ smile that people saw when they met him.

That charming, slippery smile was now directed at his only son, the living vessel for his pride and ambitions, and the single greatest reminder of his long-dead wife. "If you can save us? Oh yes, boy. Just like your grandfather, I imagine. He thought he could save us too, but we're still trying to recover from his stint as family savior, so I'm sure you'll understand if I don't share your optimism."

"Father, I…"

"Wear something nice and for God's sake, try to act like you have some sense tonight. You're going to meet your wife, not some linebacker, so talk about something besides football when you speak to her."

--------------------------------------------------

"No, Nagisa. Not red."

"But I like the red."

"Red won't work."

"Come on, red is _sexy_."

"It is, but we're not here to find anything sexy."

"Fine. We'll call it classy and tasteful instead of sexy." Nagisa held a lacy scarlet teddy up to Shizuma for approval and sighed in amusement when she shook her head. It was a real pity that she didn't like it, because it was perfect. The new couple would love it. The sheer fabric was designed to expose _just_ enough flesh to make a man pant and beg, which control-freak Miyuki would undoubtedly love, but it was so skillfully sewn that it would conceal _just _enough to make her new husband become very imaginative indeed.

She raised a mischievous eyebrow and eyed Shizuma through the diaphanous garment before placing it back on the shelf. "_You _always look fantastic in red."

Shizuma tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and softly replied, "We're here for Miyuki, not me."

_God, Shizuma's acting weird. Normally we'd be partially naked and making out in the dressing room, but she won't even look at me today. What the hell did I do? _Shrugging, Nagisa renewed her search, hoping to find the perfect gift for Miyuki. Only a couple of weeks ago, Shizuma had giggled madly at her rather risqué suggestions, even offering to buy Miyuki a lifetime supply of batteries for one particular gift, but now she was acting so... distracted. Of course, with the big day fast approaching and the time to head to the Rokujo summer home only a day away, she just figured that it was nerves or something like that.

She was only half-way joking when she said that Shizuma was more nervous about the wedding than the bride. Even after they had returned to bed, she spent the final hours before dawn muttering in her sleep, tossing that glorious hair and clutching the sheets as she dreamed her strange dreams.

Breakfast had been a near-silent affair, with Shizuma staring into her coffee like it held some dark secret of the universe and it would be revealed if she only held its steady espresso gaze. No matter how she tried to lighten the mood with suppositions and guesswork, Shizuma simply sat with her chin in her hand and sighed her answers.

_Okay, so you've seen pictures of this guy, right?_

_Um-hm._

_So, he's cute, right?_

_Um-hm._

_Have you ever met him?_

_Mmm._

_Shizuma? Did you hear me? _

_Um-hm._

_So, what's he like? I hope he's cute! Or at least tall. Miyuki always seemed so tall to me, even though she's not really. Don't you think so?_

_Hmm? What about Miyuki?_

_Silly! You weren't listening at all, were you?_

_You mentioned Miyuki..._

_Yeah, only for like, the past half hour! I said that she seems tall to me and I hope that her hubby-to-be will be tall enough to fit her._

_Fit her? What are you talking about? I'm taller than her and you never mention it..._

_Silly! I know that! I only meant that she 'seems' tall, even taller than you sometimes. You know, the way she carries herself, with her brains and her whole bossy vibe. It's kind of like she rules the world, you know? I just hope this guy can fit her, 'cause otherwise, she's gonna be totally bored with him._

_Being bored is the least of her problems, Nagisa. Now finish your breakfast so we can get out of here. We have a lot to do today._

Another red teddy was considered and discarded, along with a skimpy black negligee and a shimmering pink camisole. It wasn't like Miyuki would even care what they bought for her, just as long as they were at the wedding. Why couldn't Shizuma understand that about her? "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know we're here for her, but that doesn't mean that we can't find something cute for you while we're shopping for her! After all, what's great for you is _really _great for me, and I think that little red number will make both of us…"

"No!" Tearing through layers of filmy lace and silk, Shizuma's eyes sought a flash of blue. No other color would work for her doomed best friend. Not black, not pink, and _certainly_ not red. Why couldn't Nagisa understand that about her? "You insisted that we come to this shop, but we're here for Miyuki, not me."

"What? You were the one that said we should come here instead of that place downtown because this had classier stuff! We both agreed on it just last week, remember?"

Shizuma angrily swept her hand over the carefully arranged garments and knocked them into the floor before storming out of the small shop. The store clerk raised her voice to stop her, but the slamming of the door drowned her pathetic protests.

Utterly bewildered, Nagisa followed her into the sunlit street, finally catching up with her as Shizuma impatiently waited for the traffic to pass. Grabbing her arm, she spun her around and spat, "What the hell is wrong with you today? That clerk looked at me like it was my fault that you threw a fit and ruined her work!"

Shizuma laughed. "Please. It's not as if she has that much fabric to fold, so don't try to make me feel sorry for some girl that has to arrange a few bras. I doubt that she'll even break a sweat, so I'll keep my pity for someone that needs it."

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Like _what_, exactly?"

"Like, God, I don't know..." Suddenly aware that her grip was making Shizuma wince, Nagisa relaxed her hands and gently stroked the ruddy fingerprints now blooming on her wrist. "I'm worried about you. You've not been yourself for the past few days and I don't know what's wrong. Until you tell me what has you so scared, I can't help you."

"I can't talk to you about..." Biting her lower lip in frustration, Shizuma took a few deep breaths and calmed herself. It wasn't Nagisa's fault that she had spent the past few weeks on a self-guided guilt trip; more importantly, it wasn't her fault that she was getting ready to lose her best friend, perhaps forever, to some meaningless pact. "I'm sorry Nagisa, but I just can't talk to you about this."

More hurt than offended, Nagisa pulled away and searched her face for a different answer. "I don't understand. We talk to each other about everything. Why can't you tell me what's wrong?"

The traffic signal changed and gave them the opportunity to scamper across the street with the crowd that had gathered around them during their brief conversation. Heels clicking against the pavement, Nagisa lengthened her strides to accommodate the much-longer legs of her girlfriend, determined to uncover what she seemed bent on keeping to herself. Flicking her hair out of her eyes, she reached for Shizuma's hand, confused once again when the affectionate squeeze wasn't returned.

"Please, tell me what's making you act this way. It seems like every time I mention Miyuki, you get so..."

A tall man bearing an armload of gift bags cursed under his breath when Shizuma walked straight into his back and forced one of the smaller packages from his grip. Retrieving the bag, she muttered an insincere apology and pulled her hand from Nagisa's so they could better weave through the busy city streets.

She wanted to quickly make it back to their apartment so she could get her luggage and begin the journey to Miyuki's family home. Though she loved Nagisa, there were times when she simply needed her best friend instead of just her girlfriend.

Miyuki would know what to do.

She always knew what to do.

Didn't she?

-----------------------------------------------

"Miyuki! Come here! Oh God, hurry!"

Jerked from a rare afternoon nap by her mother's panicked cries, Miyuki thundered down the hall to her parents bedroom and slammed the door into the wall. "Mom? What's wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

Pointing excitedly at the figures on the television screen, her mother exclaimed, "That's that girl, isn't it? The one you said was so smart?"

"W-what are you talking about?" Somehow furious that her mother hadn't fallen and injured some vital organ, Miyuki wiped sleep from her eyes and plopped on the bed next to her. She was exhausted and being ripped from the only decent sleep she had for days hadn't put her in the mood to watch daytime talk shows. Yawning, she opened one eye long enough to see what could possibly make her mother scream like..."What girl are you so wound up about that you'd scare me out of...oh my God! That's Tamao!"

_...And we're back, with the author of the absolutely phenomenal best-seller, 'Precious Data', and...now calm down everyone! For those of you watching at home, I'm sure that you can barely hear me over the screams of our studio audience, who've completely lost their minds knowing that..._

"Well, she's a lovely girl, but look at how she's blushing! However did you persuade that shy thing to run for class president..."

"_Etoile, _Mom, not president."

"Oh, whatever you say, dear. My goodness! And so young! She's only a year younger than you, isn't that right?"

No longer drowsy, Miyuki snatched the remote from her mother's hands and turned the volume up so that she could hear Tamao's soft voice over the endless questions at her ear.

_...So what's the tally now? Ten million? Twelve?_

_Umm, actually, it's past sixteen million, so I'm pretty surprised that..._

_Sixteen? And that's only in eight languages! Imagine the sales when your publisher finally produces the promised twelve! _

_Yes, that's great and all, but I really hope that there's some girl out there that can use my book to better understand..._

_I bet so! Understand how to write a novel that may go down in history as one of the fastest-selling books ever, you mean? _

_Umm, yeah, sure. _

"Well! She could at least give the poor girl the chance to answer her questions!"

"I don't think that Tamao is really meant to do the talk show circuit anyway, so I'm sure..."

"She just interrupts her before she can get a single word in! How very rude of her!"

Miyuki rolled her eyes and tried to focus on Tamao's hesitant answers, but a commercial break signaled the end of the interview, much to the disappointment of the new author's fans.

"Just think, Miyuki! That girl went to the same school as you and she's doing such great things! Doesn't that make you proud?"

Miyuki felt the resentful beast residing in her belly uncoil and stretch, ready to snap and bite and tear any foolish enough to ask her about _great things_. Tamao was writing, putting her thoughts to paper just as she had always dreamed, Shion was throttling her competition and swiftly climbing the corporate ladder, undoubtedly in the shortest mini-skirt she could find, and Shizuma...

Well, Shizuma had Nagisa, so she was perfectly happy.

"Yes, I'm very proud of her. It's gr-great that Miator has such a-such a stellar alumnus to-to demonstrate all the qualities that we want all of our students to-to..."

Her mother's arm was around her shoulders before she could finish, silently agreeing with her, though unable to help her. For all of her pride in her brilliant daughter, she wished that she had been born with much less intelligence. Why couldn't her daughter been a simple girl instead of the fiercely clever woman now weeping into her lap? Why did she have to _understand _so much?

"Honey, please don't do this. You know how it upsets your father to see you in such a state."

"I know, but I can't do this. I just can't."

"Please Miyuki, we have to meet your fiancé in just a few more hours and we can't let him see you with red eyes."

"Mom, _please _don't make me do this..."

Skydiving and that trip to Athens, skinny-dipping during a lightning storm, an opera in Venice, eating an entire jar of peanut butter in a hot tub, chasing fireflies, dancing with Shizuma, or even just seeing her _smile _for her the way she did for Nagisa; every wild dream she ever imagined had flown away before the chrysalis was aware that it had been broken. "I had so much I wanted to do and now..."

"Miyuki. That's enough." Pushing her away and moving to her bathroom, she yelled back to her daughter, "Don't ever dwell on things like that. You'll go mad if you do."

"Mom, don't you see why I can't...?"

"Just...go to your room and get ready. We've wasted too much time watching that silly show as it is. Make sure that you wear something nice. You've lost some weight lately and I don't want you meeting your husband looking like a bag of bones."

Miyuki wiped her eyes and slowly wandered back to her room, dragging her hand along the wall as she so often did when she was a child.

Hell, maybe if she called Tamao, she could get an autographed book sent to the honeymoon suite. That would give her something to do while she lay on her back and played the perfect little _wife_.

Laughing, Miyuki turned on the shower and kicked her clothes to the wall. A quick little meet and greet with the fiancé could be tolerated, if only because it _had_ to be tolerated. After all, once the night was over, then the next day would break, when Shizuma swore that she would be at the train station. Of course, Nagisa would be right beside her, but she was incidental.

One more night, then she could at least hold Shizuma's hand and listen to her hum those aimless songs she hummed so well. One more night, then she could smell her perfume and braid her hair and pretend that the world belonged to them.

Miyuki closed her eyes and let the rushing flow of water drown all sounds and thoughts from her mind, except those that were with her no matter what she tried.

_Please Shizuma, I want us to be what we used to be, before Kaori and Nagisa and everyone else. Just give me that and I'll never ask for anything again. _

_-----------------------------------------------_

Note: God, I think I've watched _SP _so much that it's creeping into my writing. Yeah, it's melodramatic and weepy, but considering the source material, I don't feel too bad. I promise that I actually have a half-baked plan for why Miyuki is acting like such a spineless sponge up to this point. The feminist in me is screaming to get on with it, but I've some work to do before I give Miyuki the _oomph _I so very much want her to have. I'll try to update sooner than I have so far. I suck with time management.


	4. Chapter 4

_How the hell is she sleeping like that?_

Notebook in her hand, laptop across her knees, and a ballpoint pen clenched between her teeth, a lightly snoring Shion never noticed when Alex pulled his cherry red coupe to the side of the road and put it in park. He took her traveling mini-office and heaved it in the floorboard, smiling slightly when she arched her back and released a small sigh.

She was kind of cute when she wasn't a bitch.

He tossed a jacket over her shoulders and watched her for a moment, amused that she wouldn't lose that determined furrow between her brows even while passed out from exhaustion. Carefully tugging the pen from her lips, he debated on whether he should play the role of handsome prince and wake his slumbering princess with a gentle kiss...then he remembered that the woman in his passenger seat wasn't exactly damsel-in-distress material. She'd probably punch him, not for waking her, but for allowing her to sleep in the first place and taking precious seconds away from company time.

He chuckled. Had Sleeping Beauty worked for Shion, she would have been first on her list to be fired and escorted from the building by security. No prince would dare face the wrath of the Ice Queen just to help some simpering narcoleptic princess, especially one prone to century long naps. Naps weren't conducive to productivity.

Pulling the car back into the road, he slowly changed gears so she could sleep a bit longer without being jarred any more than necessary. Normally he would zip through traffic with laughing, boyish abandon, but it was clear to him that she needed the rest more than he needed to prove that his car was the fastest on the road.

It was a great day for driving. Bright sunlight illuminated the lush greenery on both sides of the pavement, lending a golden glow to the already vibrant, pulsing flora. Far away from Tokyo and rumbling through some nameless blip on the map, Alex realized that he never paid much attention to the sky until he was outside of the city limits. The sky always seemed gray until one managed to escape the cloud of airborne pollutants that held all large cities in her dirty grasp. The closest thing he had lately seen to the clear cobalt overhead was the matching blue in Shion's eyes...but he'd be damned before he ever told her that.

Feeling something brush his wrist, he glanced to his side and noticed that one of Shion's arms had flopped over the gearstick, while the other was bent over her eyes in an effort to block the sunlight beaming through the windshield.

Alex frowned. Most women would be awake at his side, jabbering about the wedding, hairstyles, shoes, and all of the other boring topics that drove him mad, but Shion had said no more than a dozen words to him before she began pecking at her laptop. Only twenty minutes after beginning her work, lulled and comforted by the purr of the engine, her golden head was nodding over the computer and she was lost in executive dreamland.

She was a powerful woman, there was no doubt about that, but no matter how hungry she might be, all the power in the world could never belong solely to her. A self-proclaimed man of comfort, he valued the small things in life and had never been able to understand those who dedicated their lives to the pursuit of something as mundane as power. Food was high on his list, along with pretty women and lots of sleep. Considering how quickly she dozed off, Shion was ignoring at least one item of his holy trinity and was in dire need of a refresher course in relaxation.

"Alex?"

Damn it all. Why couldn't she sleep for just a little while? She needed the rest.

"Yes?"

Yawning, Shion rubbed her eyes and checked the odometer to gauge their progress. "Damn it Alex, can't you get me there any faster?"

"Well, I _could _get you there very fast indeed, but I've not stretched my jaws _or _my tongue, so you might have to wait..."

Shion growled and rolled onto her side, glaring as fiercely as she could at her grinning chauffeur. "You are _not _funny."

"Oh, I'm very serious. You're so damned _cute _when you're tired that I wonder what you'll look like after you've been completely and thoroughly exhausted." He playfully pinched her cheek, but had to quickly draw his hand back before Shion bit his fingers. "I bet you're absolutely _adorable _after you've been fucked senseless."

"Shut the hell up." She couldn't be bothered with his silly jokes, not when they were so close to their destination. She was uncharacteristically nervous and it bothered her. What exactly did she plan on telling Miyuki when she finally had the chance to speak with her?

_Oh, come on Miyuki. This wedding is a bad idea altogether. Come work for me. You'll have holidays off, provided you don't still work through them, and of course you won't have to worry about me marrying you or getting you knocked up. I may have the biggest balls in Tokyo, but I certainly don't have THAT piece of equipment. Not enough? Corner office, personal assistant...oh fuck it. You can have MY office! Just don't do this. You don't want to and I don't want you to, either._

What the hell did Shizuma have planned for that evening anyway? The invitation to the bachelorette party said to meet at a place called _The Slinky Minx. _

Ugh. Shion had always respected Shizuma's intelligence and grace, but there was a cruel streak lurking behind those big green eyes that mirrored her own. What sort of mischief did she intend for Miyuki at a place called the motherfucking _Slinky Minx? _Daiquiris and dildos? That seemed like the sort of thing that would amuse Shizuma. She always did have a thing for making Miyuki uncomfortable.

Stifling another yawn, she raised the seat and reached for the volume control on the stereo. "And I'm _not _tired."

"Oh really? Then who was that stunning vixen in my passenger seat just a moment ago? The one drooling on the leather?"

"I do not drool!"

"So you admit that it was you asleep just now and not some other mystery woman?"

"I was not..." Alex reached underneath her hair and began kneading her neck, all the while praying that he wouldn't have to change gears until he convinced her to sleep again. He was certain that he was falling in love with Shion, but his precious roadster would always remain the love of his life. "...was not..."

"Fine. You weren't asleep..."

Shion closed her eyes and allowed him to massage a kink that had been bothering her all morning. His hand was so warm and he seemed to know the exact places to apply the perfect amount of pressure...

It wouldn't hurt to doze for just a _few _minutes, would it?

"...but you really need some rest. You work too hard."

Her eyes snapped open. "Rest? _Rest?! _I can't afford to _rest, _Alex!"

"And you can't afford to _not _rest either!"

"That's easy for you to say!"

"Well, like it or not, you're not some robotic creation that operates on caffeine and lipstick!" Flipping the rearview mirror to the side, he pointed at the dark circles under her eyes. "Look at yourself! You're fucking exhausted!"

"I am not!" She was. The day that she could work the same amount as a man to achieve the same goals would be the day that she allowed herself to relax like Alex. He couldn't possibly understand what it meant to have an entire corporation waiting for the pretty little girl to pack up her heels and go home so they could bring in one of the boys from the club. She had to work twice as hard as any of them to see half the results. Bastards. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Bullshit."

She wanted to slap that concerned look off his face, but she also didn't want to make him wreck his pretty red car, at least not with her in it. Shoving the seat back into its reclined position, she huffed, "How long until we get to the hotel?"

"Why do you care? It's not like you're going to do anything but work when we get there."

"Because this fucking seat is killing my back and I want a goddamned shower!"

Alex glanced at the tachometer, then glared at her. "Well, I was going to have us there in another hour or so, but since you're in such a _rush..." _Slamming his foot onto the accelerator, he changed gears and the engine roared in response. What had previously been a lovely summer landscape breezing by their windows was now a dizzy blur of blue and green as the crimson scythe cut a wicked swath along the roadway. "...why don't we see if we can make it in forty-five minutes?"

"Alex...slow down."

He didn't listen. His lady was singing her throaty love song and he had ears only for her. The trembling needle moved farther than it ever had before, dancing with the numbers that had always been forbidden to her by the laws of men and their traffic courts.

"But hell, since you're so eager to get to your friend's wedding, how about _thirty _minutes_?_ We can do that, can't we?"

"Alex!" She no longer cared if she sounded tired or weary or anything else. She was no longer in control and that thought terrified her. "Slow this car down this instant!"

"Why?"

'Because!"

"Are you going to take a nap when we get to the hotel?"

_"What?!"_

"Are you going to take a...?"

"I heard you the first time, you crazy fuck! What the bloody hell does that have to do with how you're driving?!"

A minivan honked her horn as the coupe thundered past them and narrowly avoided a sedan traveling in the opposite lane. Alex laughed and winked at his passenger when he noticed that all the color had drained from her face. "Well then? How about that nap?"

"Yes, goddamn it! Yes!"

"Very well." Slowing the car, he flashed her his brightest smile, the same one that had her entire office in love with him. Downshifting once more, he glanced down to his wrist, which was caught in the panicked grasp of one terrified woman. "Now that we've resumed the recommended speed, I think it's safe for you to remove your talons from my arm, Madame Raptor."

Panting, Shion looked at him in confusion, then realized that her fingernails were deeply embedded in his forearm. "You..."

"Yes?"

"You are..."

"I am what, dearest?"

The flames of hell surely couldn't compare to the cold fury in her eyes. Though he had just faced potential head-on collisions with steady hands and even steadier resolve, he would later be shamed to admit that he flinched when Shion jerked his head to the side, kissed him soundly, then slapped his cheek and forced his gaze back onto the road.

"You are an _asshole!"_

"Then why did you just kiss me?"

"Because I have to take a _nap _when we get to the hotel and I won't be able to do anything more than that."

Alex gulped. "You don't have to take a nap if you don't want to, you know."

An evil grin parted Shion's perfect lips. "Oh no, Mr. Marlowe. I simply _must_ get a couple hours of rest. I have a small soiree to attend and I must be well rested to meet my old friends. I do hope you'll understand if I am unable to attend to your needs this evening."

"Soiree? Could I tag along?"

"Mmm...afraid not. You'll just have to wait up all night for me."

"All night?"

Rolling her window down, Shion threw back her hair and closed her eyes. She needed some fresh air before she started to vomit, though she certainly didn't want Alex to know how much he frightened her. "Yes, I don't know how late I'll be, so you should probably take a nap as well. It will make the wait a little shorter for you."

Alex snorted. Sleep would be the very _last _thing on his mind while he was waiting for her.

What a bitch.

--------------------------------------------------------

"Okay, let me see your face."

"Mom, please. I just checked. I don't need to comb my hair again or..."

"For the love of God, leave her alone and stop hovering over her!"

Miyuki sighed and fidgeted with the thin strap of her purse. While getting dressed in the sleeveless red gown her mother insisted she wear, she had decided that she would be able to make it through dinner. One minute plus one minute, over and over again...

Minutes would eventually equal hours, then dinner would be done, introductions would be finished, then she would be back home, waiting for Shizuma to call her. Dinner was a task like any other.

_Smile, be pleasant, chew with your mouth closed, don't throw up, don't cry, don't run away. You can do this. One minute at a time._

She knew that would help her through dinner, but she wondered if she was soon going to think the same way for the rest of her life. One minute at a time for years and years...

"I'm not hovering. I just want to make sure she looks like a lady, so that..."

_A lady, eh? As opposed to what, Mom? A whore? You certainly picked the right color for this dress, didn't you? A lady's face and a whore's dress. Nice combo, Mom. _

"She looks _fine! _Now stop it before you make her any more nervous!"

_Thanks, Dad. Nice to know that I look fine. Even if it was the biggest lie you ever told, would it hurt you to say that I look pretty just this once? Now I'm a whore that's nervous AND fine. God, I hope this man they've picked for me kept his receipt..._

------------------------------------------

"Stand up straight."

"I _am _standing straight."

"And make sure to tell her that she looks nice."

Tadashi groaned. "I'm not lying to her just so you can look better, Dad. Hell, if you want to compliment her so much, then why don't _you _marry her?"

"That's it, boy. One more smartass remark like that and I will knock you across this table, whether they're looking or not!"

"Oh? Gee, and here I was thinking that I had just made a very sensible suggestion. You're the one that wants to join with her family so much! It makes perfect sense to me!"

"Now listen to me...hell. Never mind. There they are."

Miyuki and her parents were being led to their table by the smiling hostess, all thanking her when she bobbed her head and returned to the front of the busy restaurant.

Tadashi winced when his father stomped his toes underneath the table, muttering an unheard curse before forcing a smile to his lips. Both men inclined their heads and quickly moved to help the ladies to their seats, then sat back down and greeted their guests.

"We're very happy to see all of you, aren't we, Tadashi?"

"Umm, yeah. Very happy."

Miyuki looked at the nicotine-stained fingertips of her future father-in-law, then met his yellow smile, pointedly ignoring the young man across from her as long as possible. She felt like she was going to throw up if he kept staring at her like he was ready to have his son toss her on the table and start producing heirs right then.

Tadashi toyed with his water glass and looked across the table to the girl promised to him. She looked exactly as she did in her photograph: bitchy, humorless, and utterly unappealing, no matter how pretty she might be. He almost laughed, thinking that his father would soon have grandchildren with flawless posture, provided they took after her. She looked like she was genetically incapable of slouching.

"You look lovely tonight, Miss Rokujo."

She jumped when his father spoke directly to her, the smiling mask she wore to the table cracking ever so slightly. Her mother slapped her knee underneath the table, silently commanding her to be polite... or else. "Umm, thank you, sir."

"This is my son, Tadashi."

Tadashi's dark eyes met hers, both dreading the conversation that they knew was coming.

"And this is our daughter, Miyuki. She's honored to meet you both." Her parents spoke in unison and Miyuki wondered if they had rehearsed this embarrassingly awkward dinner introduction. Slapped on the knee again, she smiled and repeated their sentiments through her teeth.

"Excellent. Once again, you look lovely tonight. Tadashi was just saying how that color suited you."

Miyuki wondered what possessed her to want someone to compliment her earlier. Now that the praise was falling like a greasy rain, she wanted to hide under the table so none could see her. She smiled, thanked him, then turned her attention to the linen tablecloth.

The waiter arrived to take their orders and their parents were left to happily talk about the wedding, the flowers, the guest list; both natural-born planners, her mother was getting along perfectly with his father. They were lost in their conversation, occasionally checking with her father for approval, trusting their loyal children to do as they were told.

Miyuki focused on her fingernails and tried to ignore how her intended was staring at her. Did he expect her to do a trick? Maybe he thought she was the evening's entertainment and he was waiting for her to start singing or burst into flame.

"I never said that about you."

"What's that?" Surprised that he was speaking to her instead of just watching her, she quickly looked up and asked, "What do you mean?"

"I never said that color suited you." Tadashi shrugged and hurriedly gulped his water. "It looks terrible on you, but..."

Miyuki froze. "Is this how you greet all of the girls your father picks for you? Insult them at dinner and..."

"What? I didn't mean to..." Sudden realization made him cringe. He meant to say that she would look charming in any color, no matter how little it actually suited her, but he was so nervous that he left it half-unsaid.

A faint buzzing sounded from her purse. She opened it and checked the number on her cell, quickly excusing herself to go to the restroom.

Tadashi watched her go and ran his hand across his face. Great. He had just pissed off the girl he was supposed to marry on Saturday. Excusing himself as well, he followed her across the dining room to the other side of the restaurant, where the bar was crowded among a few high-backed booths and a small hallway led to the restrooms.

Miyuki's father noticed their departure, but decided that he would not follow them. They both needed some time to absorb their situation and if they wanted a stiff drink to aid that absorption, then he was willing to let them skip dinner.

His wife was getting along so well with her plans that he wondered if she would even notice if he skipped dinner too. There was a microwave pizza and a case of beer waiting for him at home that would be far more satisfying than any fancy engagement dinner.

---------------------------------------------------

_...and that brings us to halftime, and what a first half it has been! In my twenty-two year broadcasting career, I have never seen a pass like that! That's gonna be one for the history books and no mistake! How on earth can the defense stop an arm like that? It's like he has a cannon glued to his shoulder! For those of you watching at home, I wish you could be here! The noise level in this stadium is absolutely..._

"Y-you're not going to be able to make it?"

The noise level in the stadium was indeed deafening, just like the television announcer said, but Tadashi was still able to hear a soft voice near the restrooms. He paused in mid-sip and looked over the electronic poker machine. A dark-haired woman was holding an expensive cell to her ear, so deep in conversation that she was unaware that she was being observed. Tadashi leaned farther, hoping to get a better look at her face.

Was that even the same girl? She looked much different without that false smile and brittle cheerfulness.

"No, no, I understand. I just wish that you had called me later. I'm at dinner right now and I've just met him, so..."

What the hell was going on with her? Why did she sound so disappointed?

"No, I'm not crying. Yes, he seemed nice, but...no. I'm _not _crying."

Crying about what? Okay, so maybe he wasn't what she expected in a husband, but that was no reason to be rude!

"Please Shizuma, you _must_ find a way to make it here. This is the most important event of my life and I need you to... It's okay if you're late, just as long as I see you before... You really can't? But-- but this isn't just some daily _thing_. This is my _wedding!_"

Curious, Tadashi slid closer to the unoccupied end of the bar so he could better see his betrothed. Sipping his whiskey, he watched her pace in front of the restroom door as she continued her conversation. Even in the dim light and wisps of smoke, he could see that she was distressed about something the unknown person was telling her.

She wasn't crying yet, but he could see that it would take just one more word said in just the wrong tone to make those unshed tears fall onto her cheeks. This unhappy girl wasn't the same one scowling at the camera in his father's photograph. _That _girl looked as if she wanted to slap someone, but this girl...

Miyuki stopped pacing and glanced up to the ceiling, blinking rapidly and taking long, deep breaths as she listened to the reply. He wasn't close enough to try to hear what the other person might be saying, but judging from her behavior, it wasn't good news. Her hands were shaking slightly, but she clenched her fists and managed to control herself.

Tadashi waved off the bartender when he came to refill his whiskey. He was no longer interested in either the game or sneaking a quick drink before returning to dinner. If he was supposed to marry this girl, he wanted to know just a little bit about her, perhaps something more than what her parents could tell him. They could tell him about her grades and accomplishments, maybe her favorite colors and her favorite meals, but he doubted that they knew her well enough to see her like this. If her relationship with her parents was anything like his relationship with his father, then he felt certain that she would _never _allow them to see her in such a state.

Tadashi felt ashamed that he was spying on her, but he couldn't help himself. This was much better than talking with her under the watchful eyes of their parents. He felt like he had learned more about her in just a few moments than he had over the previous two hour interrogation session.

Pacing again, she continued to ask the caller a series of questions, occasionally holding the phone between her shoulder and ear so she could wrap each hand around the opposite elbow. Standing like that, almost as if trying to hide from herself in her own embrace, Tadashi felt a stirring of pity. Hell, she was pretty. She was more than pretty, now that he had a chance to look at her without his father wheezing over that fucking photo and pointing out her full breasts and tiny waist.

_See there? Not too bad, eh? She'll look a lot better out of that uniform, don't you think? I was worried that she'd grow to be skinny and flat, but there must be some damned good genes in that family. _

Something else was said by that unheard voice and her lower lip started to tremble. She muttered her farewell and jerked the phone away, snapping it shut and cramming it into her purse. Hurriedly running her fingers through her hair, she ruined the glossy perfection that had probably taken her a lot of time with gel and a comb. Vivid blues from the lights over the bar reflected on her hair, transforming the black strands into liquid electricity, made somehow more alive by that unintentional disorder.

He smiled. A little chaos suited her.

Grabbing a handful of cocktail napkins, he hopped off his barstool and moved to her side. Clearing his throat, he offered her a shy grin and a crumpled napkin. He had planned on being a gallant knight, riding to save the fair lady from whatever fiend was troubling her, but now that he was inches from her and those tear-filled eyes, all he could think of to say was, "Hey."

Miyuki jumped when she heard the hesitant voice by her shoulder. "Oh! I'm sorry! I, um, didn't see you standing there."

"Yeah, I just wanted to hide from my dad for a few minutes while he was busy with your parents." Nervously rubbing the back of his head, he inhaled deeply and studied the floor between his feet. "I was just checking the score on a game and heard you over here. Are you, umm, okay?"

Quickly searching her purse for a reason to look into it instead of at him, she smiled and tried to sound cheerful. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you."

"Are you sure? You, umm, look like you've just heard the worst news of your life."

How humiliating. If her mother had witnessed this, she would have already dragged her back into the restroom to berate her about her shameful behavior. Miyuki wanted nothing more than to crawl back to the car and weep in the backseat, but she pulled on her mask and beamed at his concern. "I'm okay, really. You're very kind. Thank you."

He didn't quite know what to make of her. She had just been real, almost tangible, but now she was that stone princess from the photo again. Running back to the bar, he returned with a glass of water and pushed it into her hands. She thanked him and took a slow sip, wishing that he wouldn't stare at her anymore.

"I really didn't mean to offend you earlier. I wanted to say something completely different, but it came out all wrong. You do look nice in that dress, so..."

Miyuki laughed. She couldn't help it. He seemed so _worried _that he had truly hurt her feelings instead of just offending her delicate feminine sensibilities. It was nice to have someone be concerned for her, even if it was nothing more than a polite, passing concern. "Are you serious? I _hate _this dress. I'll admit that you surprised me when you said that, but it was the first honest thing anyone has told me all night. I do look terrible in red."

Tadashi chuckled and loosened his tie. If they could spend the rest of the night in front of the lavatories, then he thought it might be pleasant to actually meet this girl named Miyuki instead of being introduced to that faceless doll named Miss Rokujo.

"Could I offer you a drink, Miss Rokujo? It's not as if we're missing anything at dinner. I'm sure our parents haven't even noticed that we aren't there."

She closed her eyes and accepted his offer. What the hell else was she going to do? Shizuma wasn't coming to her wedding, her parents were closing their sale, and now she had the rest of the night to spend by herself. Why shouldn't she get hammered and throw herself a little party?

"Yes, thank you. I'd like that very much."

--------------------------------------------------

"Did you see that?"

Shizuma angrily tapped her cell on the table and ignored Nagisa. She had seen everything. What was meant to be a fun little joke had rapidly turned into something else. Miyuki was supposed to stand by the bathrooms, then Shizuma planned on standing from her table to wave her over so they could escape that horrible little engagement party. They'd hop in the car, call Shion, and drive to a much different sort of party. It was perfect.

She hadn't counted on that man running to Miyuki's side and dragging her back to his seat at the bar.

Who the hell did that bastard think he was? Miyuki was _fine! _She didn't need him to play the hero and bring her a bunch of filthy napkins. Sure, she looked like she was going to cry, but she would be so _happy _to see her that all would be forgiven. He had no part to play in her game.

"Look! He's trying to get her to watch that ball game! Miyuki doesn't even _like _sports!" Nagisa frowned, then looked to Shizuma for clarification. "Does she? I mean, she never played them in school or anything, so why is she...?"

"For God's sake, Nagisa! What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

Nagisa's eyes widened in shock. Shizuma had been acting funny for days, but she had never snapped at her before.

"Why are you yelling at me?"

"Because you're acting like an idiot!"

Nagisa opened her mouth to speak, then promptly closed it again. She wanted to play the angry shrew and scream in her face, but she was beginning to understand that Shizuma's short temper was being affected by everything that related at all to Miyuki. She didn't understand why she wasn't excited for her best friend, but she figured that she was probably just nervous. After all, Shizuma had known Miyuki for such a long time that any change to their relationship would upset her. For all her impulsiveness and flights of wild fancy, Shizuma held tightly to anything that she considered precious.

Finishing her tea, she watched Shizuma's eyes narrow as she glowered at the pair sitting at the bar. There was something really bothering her about that man. Nagisa looked at Miyuki's fiance, then to Miyuki, then back to Shizuma. What was the big deal? He was really cute and he had a great smile, plus he was making Miyuki laugh, so he couldn't be all _that _bad. It wasn't like he was dragging her around by her hair or slapping her around or anything like that. She knew that Shizuma was worried that she might marry one of those awful men that did bad things like that, but really, he seemed to be great so far!

"Nagisa?"

"What?"

Shizuma felt ashamed of herself for that slight hesitation before Nagisa replied. She needed to get through this wedding weekend in a hurry so she could make up for her bad behavior.

"Look, why don't you take the car and wait for me at the club? I'm sure Shion is already there. She's early to everything."

"But..."

Shizuma smiled and leaned across the table to give Nagisa a slow, lingering kiss. "Go ahead. We'll catch a taxi and meet you over there. You can start without us. I think I'll have an easier time dragging Miyuki along if she doesn't know that we're taking her to a strip club."

Nagisa returned the smile and grabbed her keys. "Okay, but don't take too long. I might get jealous."

--------------------------------------------------

"Okay, so now they can score again because there is this thing called an extra point. They bring in a player that specializes in kicking, so..."

Miyuki nodded politely and sipped her wine. She had long ago figured out the rules to this game he seemed to be so fond of, but she figured that it was rude to say, "You know, I happen to be remarkably intelligent, so I don't need you to explain these rather simple rules to me."

"I'm sorry. I'm boring you."

"No, not at all."

Tadashi ran his thumb along the rim of his glass. He hadn't intended on rambling on and on about the game, but he didn't know what else to do. It was already painfully obvious to him that his father had been very mistaken about this girl's intellect. He was smart, but she was in a completely different class. Was it not bad enough that he had to marry a complete stranger? Did he have to marry a fucking genius as well?

At least she didn't seem so sad anymore. Tadashi watched her eyes flit over the screen, then drop down to stare at her hands. He had already told her that he liked dogs, played football overseas, hated hot weather, and fractured his wrist when he was a child. So far, she had just asked for the time.

"So, umm, what sorts of things do you do?"

Miyuki was going to mutter something about music or reading, but a pair of slim hands covered her eyes and a very familiar voice interrupted her.

"This beautiful woman likes to study foreign languages, have illicit tea parties, and climb fences in sinfully short skirts..."

The glass of wine was spilled and forgotten as Miyuki spun on her barstool and embraced the woman that had snuck behind her. They tumbled to the floor, laughing and crying and ignoring the rest of the customers. Nobody else mattered.

"Shizuma! Oh God! You came! You came! You came!"

Tadashi was surprised at the twinge of jealousy he felt when that shell Miyuki had been wearing finally shattered and a shining light seemed to radiate from her. The silver-haired girl now kissing Miyuki's cheeks was clearly gorgeous, a beauty beyond any woman he had ever seen, but even her amazing curves and divine features were getting fewer stares than Miyuki's ecstatic smile.

She was suddenly beautiful.

"Umm, who's your friend?"

Miyuki couldn't take her eyes from that woman. "This is Shizuma, my best friend! I've not seen her in so long and..."

Shizuma smirked at Tadashi and stroked Miyuki's hair. She had no interest in all at learning his name. "Look, it's nice to uh, meet you, but I have plans with Miyuki and I'm afraid that I'll have to steal her away from you."

Miyuki looked as if she might protest, suddenly aware that she couldn't leave her family just to run off with her best friend.

Or could she? Wasn't that the very thing that she wanted to do? Wasn't that what she dreamed of every night?

Shizuma inclined her head towards the door and smiled. "Are you coming?"

Miyuki quickly thanked Tadashi for the drink and took Shizuma's offered hand. "Yes, let's go."

Tadashi raised his eyebrows in surprise when Shizuma tossed her hair and gave him a spiteful glare.

What the hell had he ever done to her?

--------------------------------------------------

"God, how do these women expect me to get any work done with their asses in my face?!"

Shion didn't mind playing the part of the good little wedding guest, but there were limits to what she would do. Shoving away yet _another _dancer with a set of tits seemingly filled with helium, she tried once more to scream at Ami over the throbbing music overhead.

Nagisa ordered another drink from her waitress and watched her wiggle back to the bar. "Did you bring your cell to a _strip club?!_

"Of course I did! I'm waiting on a very important call to finalize a merger with the largest real estate company in...give that back!"

Perhaps unaware of how close she was to death, Nagisa playfully jerked Shion's cell phone from her hand and held it just over her head. "Nope! We're here to have a little fun and see some girls dance. Your oh-so-important merger will have to wait!"

"I swear by everything holy, if you fuck this up for me I will make you regret it, Nagisa. I can't believe that I'm being forced to waste my time here when I could be..."

"Okay, okay! Yeesh! Lighten up! I was just joking with you!"

"It's not a joke when the reputation of my company and every single one of her employees are at stake! Do you honestly think that I would allow an opportunity like this to...wait a minute. Is that them?"

Shizuma was chasing Miyuki to the exit and dragging her back inside. She gestured to the table, almost as if to say, "Look! We even convinced the Spica Snow Empress herself to come! Now you _have _to stay!"

"Where? Oh yeah! Finally!" Nagisa waved her hands over her head and summoned Shizuma and Miyuki to their table, wincing slightly when Shion yanked the phone from her and slapped her in the back of the head. "There you are! We've been waiting _forever!"_

Shion rolled her eyes. It had only been an hour since their arrival, but yes, it certainly _seemed _like forever. Listening to Nagisa's endless chatter about life, Shizuma, love, Shizuma, new clothes, and Shizuma was beginning to wear on her nerves. Now that the guest of dubious honor had arrived, she ignored the happy reunion between Nagisa and a surprisingly less-than-enthusiastic Shizuma and devoted all her attention to her former rival.

"Long time, no see, Miyuki."

"Shion? What on earth are _you _doing here?"

Shrugging, Shion gestured to the pulsating opulence and scantily clad women serving drinks to men in expensive suits. "Oh, you know me. I was positively _aching_ to have some random girl throw her tits in my face so that I could shell out some cash and help her work her way through medical school. Nothing like a little philanthropic goodwill under a strobe light to make me feel all _bubbly _inside."

Miyuki considered sitting down, then decided against it when she saw a tall girl with a pink wig grinding against a man at the next table. He was gripping the leather arms with sweating palms and twitching fingers, obviously eager to risk the bouncer's wrath and touch the entertainment. She really didn't want to dirty her clothes on whatever mysterious substances might be smeared on the chairs. Turning back to Shion, she clasped her hands behind her back and smiled. She really was pleased to see her old nemesis, even though she knew that they would probably end the night screaming at each other. "Well, it's nice to see you. I'm glad you came all the way out here for the wedding."

Shion finished her drink and grabbed Miyuki's arm. She didn't care that Shizuma was saying something about ruining a great party. Nagisa could handle her while she tried to knock some sense into Miyuki. Dragging her to the bar, she muttered, "Yes, I wouldn't be able to tolerate knowing that I had disappointed you, but it's obvious that you don't mind disappointing me."

Nervously laughing, Miyuki asked, "What are you blabbing about now?"

Finally navigating through drunken businessmen and waitresses in g-strings, Shion made it to the bar where she felt far enough from Shizuma and Nagisa to speak to Miyuki without interference. "Enough bullshit, Rokujo. I agreed to come so that I might be able to talk some sense to you."

"Some sense? We're in a strip club and you plan on lecturing me?"

The bartender winked at Shion and bypassed a row of angry customers to take her order. Carefully wiping the bar, he placed a fresh cosmopolitan in front of her and told her that if she needed _anything_ at all, she had simply to let him know. She smiled and tossed her hair off her shoulders, thanking him for his kindness.

Unhappy with this, a burly man with a flushed face tapped her on the shoulder, but she grabbed his finger and twisted until he was forced to stand from his stool or lose the offending appendage. He groaned something resembling an apology, so Shion released him without taking her eyes from Miyuki's. "You don't truly intend on getting married Saturday, do you?"

"What?" Impressed in spite of herself, Miyuki watched the man shake his hand and give Shion an evil look. A muttered 'bitch' was heard by all sitting at the bar, but Shion simply smiled and nodded her head to the bartender. Though he shouted his protestations and struggled fiercely, the intoxicated patron was no match for the bartender and three enormous bouncers.

Shion winked at the bartender upon his return and took a very slow sip of her cosmo, saluting her brave warrior with a bright smile and shining eyes. When he was forced to serve the other customers, she turned back to Miyuki with a scowl on her face. "You heard me. It's not for women like us. We're a different breed of female and we don't have to put up with bullshit traditions just to get ahead in life."

"What would you know about it?"

"Nothing. And I don't intend on learning a goddamned thing about it, either. You'll never see me marrying some fool just because my parents decided it for me."

"That's easy for you to say. You don't understand anything about tradition or--or honor or anything like that! Your family doesn't force you to do anything that you don't want to do and you have no idea what it means to..."

"No. They don't force anything on me, but then again, I don't rely on them for _my _honor or my happiness either. I'm my own person. You'd be a lot happier if you'd grow some fucking balls and tell your parents to go to hell."

"I could never do anything like that to them!"

"Why? Afraid they wouldn't forgive you?"

"Yes, but..."

"If they love you, then they'll forgive you. If they won't forgive you, then you're better off without them."

"That's terrible!"

"That's life, Rokujo. Tell them to piss off so you can make something of yourself!"

"I can't do that! They'll be humiliated and everyone will know that it was their daughter that shamed them!"

"So? It's okay for the rest of the world to live in some fantasy-land where the pretty princesses marry their princes and everyone lives happily ever after? Is that it? Is that what's going to happen to you?"

"I'll be fine. I'm known about this my entire life..."

"And you've done nothing about it."

"I have no _choice_, Shion."

Shion looked over to their table and noticed that Shizuma was ignoring her lap dance, instead stealing glances at them as the dancer bounced and gyrated over her seat. Interesting.

Very interesting.

"I see. So, you're going through with this because you truly have no other choice, is it?"

"Exactly."

"It's not at all because you had a certain _other _choice stolen from you and now you think you're out of options?"

"What are you talking about?"

Shion threw back the last of her cosmopolitan and licked her lips. Delicious. Raising two fingers, she ordered another round and gestured for the bartender to give one to the bride-to-be. Sipping the delightfully cold vodka and cranberry, she looked over the rim of her glass and narrowed her eyes. "Do you mean to tell me that if Nagisa somehow drifted out of Shizuma's life, you would still consider marrying that man?"

Miyuki blanched and started patting her pockets for her keys, then remembered that she had ridden in a taxi from the restaurant. "That's it. I'm calling a cab. This is ridiculous."

"You'll stand right where you are, coward."

Miyuki turned and met Shion's challenging blue gaze. "Who the _hell _do you think you are?"

"Who am I? I'm Shion and that's all I will _ever _be. You're the one that needs to realize just who the hell you are."

Jabbing her finger in Shion's face, Miyuki felt a stirring of something familiar and almost forgotten. "You wait just one damned minute! I know exactly who I am!"

Pleased with the reaction, Shion decided to see just how far she could press her before she too was thrown out of the club. "Oh yes, I just bet you do. But which _you _do you plan to be for the rest of your life? Hmm? When you first entered this charming establishment, you were Shizuma's lapdog, panting after her like a bitch in heat. Just a moment ago, you were the perfect little daughter of the Rokujo family and this weekend you'll be the perfect little wife to what's-his-name. When are you going to just be _Miyuki? _Hmm?"

"Shut. Your. Mouth." Every word was punctuated by a sharp jab to the chest.

"Or what? You don't frighten me. It takes a hell of a lot more than some whiny little girl that's afraid of her own damned potential to scare me. If you would open your fucking eyes and see what you could become, what a force you could be, _then _I might learn to be frightened of you."

Miyuki tilted her head in sudden confusion. "What are you...? I don't want you to be frightened of me."

Cranberry juice and vodka splashed over the rim of Shion's glass when she slammed it to the bar. "Well, what if I _want_ to be frightened of you? I have the entire firm afraid of me. They yield the elevator to me, bring me coffee, shake and stutter and apologize when I don't get my way; I can't fucking _stand _it anymore! You're the only person I've ever met who was even _close _to my equal and now you're just going to roll over and die because of your cowardice!"

"It's not like that!"

"It's not? I could have sworn it's because you've always been afraid to stand up to anyone that you're in this position." Suddenly furious that she would have to order another drink, she leaned closer and growled, "You're afraid to tell your parents that you don't want to do this, you're afraid to tell Shizuma that you love her, and you're afraid to admit that every fucking word I've said is the truth!"

"I'm not afraid of..."

"You're afraid to even tell me who the hell you are!"

"I'm not! I'm Miyu..."

"You're Miyuki and don't you ever fucking forget it. You got it, sister?"

Miyuki opened her mouth to reply, but an increasingly tipsy Nagisa snuck behind her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. "What are you guys doing up here?"

Shion wondered if homicide would still be considered illegal if the victim was _plainly _asking for it. Signaling for another drink, she wiped her hand and sighed, "We're having a discussion and we can't be bothered with another of your exhilarating theories on heels versus flats. Go away."

Pinching Miyuki's cheek, Nagisa failed to notice Shion's disgusted snort. "Come on, Miyuki! Look!"

She really had no choice when Nagisa turned her head back to the tables. A thin brunette with glitter in her hair was laughing at something Shizuma said, though it seemed to Miyuki that she was slightly jealous that her customers were watching her pupil more than they were watching her. Whereas the dancer was naked except for her pink panties, Shizuma was still fully clothed...and infinitely more desirable to all that could see her.

Nagisa giggled and leaned so closely into her that Miyuki could smell white wine on her breath. Whispering in what she must have thought was a sneaky tone, she laughed once more and said, "Shizuma is learning how to dance from that girl and she wants the lucky bride to dance with her! Come on!"

Shion arched a single eyebrow and smiled at Miyuki. "Yes, that sounds like a _marvelous _idea, Miyuki. Your mistress is calling her favorite pet. Better run before she forgets about you and decides to dance with Nagisa."

She sipped her cocktail and carefully dabbed her mouth with a napkin as Nagisa dragged her back to their table.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm going to kill her._

"Can I get you anything else, ma'am?"

Shion chuckled. "Yeah. Send a couple of girls over to that table by the stage and make sure that the girl with black hair never has an empty glass. I want her to be completely shitfaced in just a couple of hours."

"Of course. And for you?"

"Just make sure that I have an empty stool on either side of me for the rest of the night. I'm in one hell of a mood and don't want to be bothered."

"Whatever you say, ma'am."

------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: For anyone that cares, I've not forgotten about _Late Night, _but I lost what I had written, so I'm rewriting it right now. I just wanted to slap something on this one so I didn't forget where I was going with it.


	5. Chapter 5

_Beep...beep...beep..._

Tadashi knocked over his alarm clock and his bedside lamp in a drowsy effort to answer his phone. Slapping blindly for the source of the shrill ringing, his fingers finally brushed against the plastic casing of his cell. Grumbling, he brought it to his ear and promptly brought it back down, as the sounds from a raucous party could be heard on the other end of the line. In spite of his exhaustion, he grinned. While he missed his old college buddies, he certainly didn't miss their parties. The first time he had ever attempted some of their drinking games had been the last, and he was thankful that they were still in America, far from him and any sort of potential bachelor-party nightmare they could concoct.

So tired. He was extremely happy to hear from his friends, but he wished that they remembered that it was in the early hours of the morning for him. After trying to explain to his father and Miss Rokujo's parents that their daughter had left the engagement party with a friend, Tadashi made his own hasty farewells and caught a cab home to retreat to his bed. His smooth-talking father could soothe the frazzled nerves of his future in-laws. Miyuki's dad looked almost pleased to hear that his girl had disappeared, but the mother...

Oh, the mother...

Clearing his throat, he tried once more to answer the call, muttering a half-hearted "Hello?" into the mouthpiece.

_Hey Dash!_

"Hey..."

_You sleepin'? Wake your ass up! Since you're so far away, we're havin' your bachelor party for ya! Tank brought some girls and we got a...a...well, we had a keg, but I think it's empty and the strippers are REAL friendly, if ya know what I mean. Wait. Are they strippers? _

_Tank! Did we get strippers or were these the waitresses from the bar? Both? Hell yeah!  
_

From his buddy's slurred speech and what sounded like fireworks and football fight songs in the background, Tadashi was willing to bet that they had finished more than just a keg of cheap beer. "Heh, well I hate that I can't be there."

_God, you should be! It's one hell of a...you know, one hell of a party. So, how are things in motherfucking Japan?_

"Well, they could be better, but..."

_ And you owe me some money! These international rates are a bitch!_

"International rates? It's your fault for not sending an email, you dumbass!"

_Naw, you know how much I hate computers. So...uh, how are you, Dash?  
_

"It's the same as always, you know. Dad's a dick, he thinks that I'm still an idiot..."

_Yeah, yeah, I know, but that ain't why I called. _

"Christ." Tadashi grimaced and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. The last things he wanted to deal with were Mickey's ideas on courtship and marriage. If his father's were old-fashioned, then Mickey's were yanked from the pages of an anthropology textbook. He was a pretty good guy and one hell of a good friend, but he wasn't exactly a great thinker. "You won't leave it alone, will you?"

_Nope, not when it's my buddy that's concerned._

"Yes, I'm still getting married on Satur...well, I guess now it's tomorrow, if that's what you're wondering._"  
_

_Fuck man. Sucks to be you.  
_

Tadashi groaned and pulled the blanket over his head. He already had enough trouble falling asleep after returning home, so being ripped from slumber just to be reminded of his wedding wasn't exactly how he wanted to start his day. "Gotta do it though. You don't know what it's like over here."

_Hell no and I sure as fuck don't want to find out either! But..._

"But what?"

_But...is she hot at least? Nice jugs? Tight ass?  
_

"Hot?" The friend that dragged her away from the bar was hot, absolutely smoking hot, but Miyuki Rokujo? No, she was something different. "Is that why you called me so early? It's three am here, you idiot!_"  
_

_Oh God, she's a troll, isn't she? Like Jabba the Hut? _

_Hey guys! He finally met her! I think he's marrying the wicked witch of the east!  
_

"Hey, shut up! She's not a troll. Far from it, in fact. She's cute as hell, almost has this, I don't know, this vibe..."

_Cute, eh? Damn. I can't remember the last time you called a girl cute. I was beginning to think you were some kinda fag or something._

"Man, shut the hell up!"

_Aw, come on, Dash! You know I'm just fucking with ya! I just wanted to call and wish ya luck, ya know! I know you were real worried about it before you left, so I just wanted to tell you to say 'fuck it' if it got to be too much, ya know?  
_

Chuckling at his friend's rather vulgar concern, Tadashi replied, "You know I can't do that."

_Yeah, I know, but I wish you would. You could always come back here and crash with us for a while. We miss your crazy ass! And that cute redhead at the bar still asks about you, so you're pretty much guaranteed some pussy if you come back.  
_

"Charming, Mickey. Really charming."

_But that's why ya love me, right?_

"You're such a dumbass sometimes, you know that, right?"

_Yeah, but I'm the happiest dumbass in the whole goddamned world. So, just say fuck you to your dad and that bitch and come back over here._

"Don't call her that." Tadashi was surprised by how much he didn't like to hear Miyuki called a bitch. She was in the same situation and much like him, undoubtedly terrified by what the weekend would bring.

_Yeesh. I didn't mean any fucking harm!_

"I know you didn't, but still, just..."

_Alright, alright, I get it! Goddamn! Congrat-u-fucking-lations on your uh, upcoming, uh, nuptials. Though I still think you outta come back here so we can play beer pong and work on our fantasy drafts.  
_

"Yeah, thanks Mickey."

_Hey, that's what I'm here for! I'm a goddamned ray of sunshine for my buds, even when they're all the way across the world! Lemme know how the honeymoon goes so I know whether or not to..._

_Hey baby! Don't just walk off like..._

_Sorry Dash! Gotta run! Hot blonde in a g-string needs my...uh, attention. Later!  
_

And with that, Mickey dropped the phone and left, because Tadashi was left to stare at the ceiling and wonder about pretty brown eyes and sad smiles.

_----------------------------------------------------------------------  
_

"Good morning, beautiful."

Perhaps it was because Shizuma jerked the blanket that hid her face from the late morning light, or maybe it was because she was shaking the mattress every time she moved, but whatever the reason, Miyuki was less than pleased to be so happily greeted by her best friend.

"Go 'way. Leave me 'lone."

Wincing from the throbbing pain in her temples, she glanced at the window and noted the position of the spiteful sun, which she no longer considered to be the benevolent orb that bestowed life upon the earth. When the first barbed rays burned through her eyelids, Miyuki thought that perhaps wine god Dionysus owed a large sum to Apollo, and her eyes happened to be the coin that would handle his debts. They had simply to be burned out of her skull before they could be traded over some divine wager. Seeking solace in the warm darkness provided by her pillow, she buried her face and tried to go back to sleep. She had never felt so ill in her entire life.

"I think I'm dying."

Shizuma dropped the edge of the comforter back on Miyuki's face and plopped next to her, resting her cheek on one hand as she stretched out along her side. Walking her fingertips along Miyuki's shrouded from, she teased in a sing-song voice, "Well, well, well! It appears that my little Miyuki isn't accustomed to hangovers."

Voice muffled by both the after-effects of too much alcohol and expensive down pillows, Miyuki found strength enough to mutter, "I'm going to kill you for this..."

"Well, before you do that you'll have to take that pillow off your head."

Remove the one thing that protected her from the vengeful darts of the sun's solar bow? Nonsense! Burrowing deeper into her pillow, Miyuki tried to quell a rather insistent nauseous feeling so that Shizuma wouldn't laugh at her for fleeing to the bathroom. "Never mind then. I'll let you live as long as you don't make me move."

"Sorry, but you have to. We're going out for coffee."

"Urgh..."

"Come on. Up! It will help your headache."

"No. Leave me here to die."

"Oh no. I am not going out in this backwater town to be ogled by creepy old men by myself. You're coming with me."

"Urgh...take Nagisa."

"No, she's sleeping and I don't think it's a good idea to move her."

"Why?"

"Well, let's just say that there is a very unhappy cab driver that is probably still cleaning his backseat of a very sticky mixture of white wine and the majority of a large cheese pizza."

Miyuki chuckled. "That bad, huh?"

"Oh God, it was awful. I've never seen anyone throw up so much in my life. I knew I should have stopped her, but she said she was hungry after we left the bar, so..."

A sudden horrifying thought occurred to Miyuki. "I didn't get sick, did I?"

"You?" Shizuma tugged on the comforter and tried to pull the pillow from Miyuki's face, but gave up when she heard her friend growling through the thick layer of satin and feathers. "No, but you did go down on the driver because we couldn't afford the fare. He said if you ever again needed a _ride _..."

Miyuki belted Shizuma with her pillow, laughing brightly even though she could feel her pulse pounding just behind her eyes. "You are _terrible! _Even if I was that drunk, I would never..."

Shizuma's smile was positively sinful. Absently twirling a strand of hair around her finger, she fell back on the other pillow and stared at the way it curved around her hand, all the while evading Miyuki's increasingly offended gaze. Speaking more to her hand instead of her friend, she calmly, maddeningly stated, "Then I better not tell you about the shameful things you and I did together..."

_"What?!"_

"Oh yes." Certain that she had Miyuki's very undivided attention, Shizuma crawled over her prone form and moved to the mirror above her dresser so she could check her appearance. She wasn't feeling very well herself, not after Shion dared her to drink all of those martinis, but she'd be damned before she'd let Miyuki know about it. A smug Miyuki was something she wasn't prepared to deal with, especially with a hangover of her own.

"Shameful things...Wait a second. Shizuma! How shameful?"

"Don't you remember?" Leaning forward so she could ensure that she had no dark circles under her eyes, she made a show of reapplying her lip gloss, carefully sliding the applicator over her bottom lip even as her perfect mouth curved into another wicked grin. "Why, I'm _hurt, _Miyuki. After all those tricks you demonstrated with that sharp tongue of yours, you mean to tell me that you've forgotten?"

Miyuki's mouth dropped open in affronted disappointment. She was very certain that if she had ever done anything with Shizuma, she would _never_ forget it. "I did...I did not do any tricks!"

Shizuma beamed. Miyuki was almost too easy sometimes. "You most certainly did. I saw a side of you that I've never seen before." Turning so that she could look directly into Miyuki's wide, unbelieving eyes, she leaned against the dresser and slowly licked her lips. "And I really, _really_ liked it."

"You did?!"

Too far. Even though she was having a very good laugh at Miyuki's expense, she could tell that there was a limit to how far she could tease her. Maybe for something else, but not for those feelings she had tried so hard to conceal over the years.

Spinning back to the mirror, she cleared her throat and tried to forget that hurt expression on Miyuki's face. "Yes, a very sharp tongue indeed. You really do have quite a mouth on you. I didn't know that you even knew words like that."

"Words like...?" Of course. Shizuma was teasing her again, but she did have a hazy recollection of yelling at someone... "Shizuma? What did I do?"

"Well, there was this man who said something rather rude about me..." It had been far more than just rude, enough for even clueless Nagisa to stand from her seat, but Shizuma didn't ever want to see Miyuki get that upset again. She considered telling her exactly what he said, but decided against it. "...so you threw your drink in his face and threatened to cut off his, er, manhood."

"I did _what?"_

"Um-hm. With a rusty machete, if I remember correctly. Then you said some other stuff that I simply must not repeat, as I am a lady and do not use such words..."

Miyuki rolled her eyes at this feigned innocence. "Oh please. I had to learn them from somebody. I seem to remember our first year and that 'slutty whore of a nun' that gave you your first detention."

Shizuma remembered that particular afternoon very well. Until she had spent over four hours cleaning blackboards of chalk dust, she had never realized just how many classrooms Astraea Hill really had. And if Miyuki hadn't been the faster runner, she would have shared the punishment for sneaking into the kitchen to steal some pear pastries that smelled much too delicious to ignore. Laughing quietly at the memory, Shizuma continued her tale of the previous night's debauchery. "Anyway, once he started to cry, I thought Shion was going to have a screaming orgasm right there. That was the most fun she had the entire night. She even snagged a pic of him on her cell. I think you impressed the hell out of her." Popping her lips when she was satisfied with the faint rosy sheen of her gloss, she turned back to Miyuki and raised her eyebrows in a mute appeal for approval.

"You look great." More than great, Shizuma was stunning. From years of close acquaintanceship, Miyuki knew that she felt just as queasy as she herself did, but to simply look at her, one might be inclined to think that she was just on a break between modeling shoots. Hair tied back to expose her shoulders and wearing a light summer dress seemingly sewn from the leaves of a water hyacinth, she was truly beautiful.

"Thanks." Falling onto the bed once again, Shizuma rolled next to Miyuki and began shoving her off the mattress, ignoring her loud groans of protest. When she finally fell to the floor in a tangled heap of blankets and limbs, Shizuma peeked over the edge of the mattress and started to giggle. "Now, why have you never told me that you're so entertaining when you're drunk? Or hungover, for that matter?"

The space underneath the bed was suddenly a very tempting place for Miyuki to spend the remainder of her days. Clinching her eyes shut, certain that there would soon be humiliating pictures of her in Shizuma's photo album, she muttered, "Oh God..."

"Don't worry, Miss Prim and Proper. I didn't let you do anything _too _embarrassing."

Rising to her knees and resting her elbows on the bed, Miyuki fixed her joking best friend with the stern glare that had convinced some that they were enemies instead of the closest of companions. Raising a single dark eyebrow, she asked, "Threatening to castrate a complete stranger doesn't count as embarrassing to you?"

Shizuma shrugged and dismissed the question as something totally absurd. "Not really, but who cares? Get up and get dressed so we can have breakfast together."

* * *

Nagisa couldn't quite decide if she should be angry or not. Shizuma wanted to spend some time alone with Miyuki. Okay, that was fine. She was perfectly happy to let them have breakfast together. They were best friends, after all. What was so upsetting was to see Shizuma in such a hurry to leave their bed that morning and to see her put such effort into choosing her dress and applying her makeup. It was just Miyuki. She had known her for years. By the time that she had finished twisting her hair into that, that...ooh! She _never _tried so hard to look pretty for her! Why was it so important that she be so beautiful for Miyuki?

Leaning against the tiled wall of the shower, she closed her eyes and let the steam envelop her. Thus cloaked in a cloud of thick vapor, soothed by the whispering rush of water, she was able to enter her own world where she could think without interference. Though she loved Shizuma and was grateful for every moment they shared, it was difficult at times to be able to think for herself. Far too often her suggestions were ignored or ridiculed, her choices questioned and dissected. It was nice to spend a quiet few minutes alone and able to filter her own thoughts without being influenced by anyone else.

Holding her breath, she ducked her face under the spray and felt the powerful stream massage her aching head. She felt so tired lately and wasn't quite able to pinpoint the cause.

True, she had a few more drinks than she intended to have, but so had everyone else. She knew that she was well past intoxicated by the third glass of wine, but at Shizuma's insistence, she continued to drink. There had been something desperate about Shizuma the previous night, something frightening and wild that Nagisa had never seen before.

And whatever it had been, it carried over to Miyuki.

Eyes still closed, Nagisa exhaled sharply and again wondered about the wedding. Shizuma jumped every time it was mentioned, almost barking her responses to the simplest questions. Even Shion had left their party early, muttering about self-absorbed bitches and wasted time, but Nagisa had a strange feeling that she didn't mean company time. That look she gave Miyuki before she left...

Ooh! What was _wrong _with everyone lately?

It was a wedding, meant to be a joyous occasion that brought people together instead of ripping them apart. Why was it that she was the only one that seemed to be excited? She wanted so much to get a chance to speak with Miyuki, to tell her how happy she was for her, but she wasn't sure if she'd get the chance. Simply mentioning the idea to Shizuma had been enough for her to have the door slammed in her face that morning, though she had no idea why it was such a horrible concept.

So, left alone and confused, Nagisa cried in the shower and wondered how she could make things right again.

* * *

"Thanks for the coffee."

"You're very welcome. Are you feeling any better?"

Miyuki peered over the edge of her mug to determine if Shizuma might be teasing her again. She appeared to be sincere enough, though any questions about her well-being were automatically suspicious. "Much better. My head still hurts a bit, but I think I'll survive."

"I'm glad to hear it."

The waitress brought their orders of very bland rice and toast, carefully placing the plates before them so she didn't interrupt their conversation. She had been a waitress for years and she recognized wealthy customers. When rich folks were deep in conversation, it wasn't wise to bother them and risk lowering the tips.

Shizuma bit a corner from her toast and chewed thoughtfully, staring at Miyuki all the while. She had considered stealth and coercion, but the girl across from her toying with her rice and sipping black coffee was far too clever for tricks. "Miyuki?"

"Hmm?" Miyuki took slow, shallow sips of her coffee, careful to avoid burning her tongue on the scorching brew. It really was excellent; strong and rich, it just the thing to clear the foggy remnants of her headache. She wished that Shizuma would concentrate on her own breakfast instead of staring at her with those piercing green eyes.

"Why are you doing this?"

At least she decided to be blunt instead of dancing around the problem. Leave it to Shizuma to cut through the bullshit. Setting the mug down with a clatter, Miyuki pinched the bridge of her nose and mumbled, "Don't start. You know that I have to do it."

"No you don't. You have money and brains. You could leave, go to college like you wanted, travel, anything." It all seemed perfectly reasonable. Things might be tight for a while, especially if her parents cut her from any sort of financial assistance, but Shizuma felt certain that with her amazing intellect and that barely-concealed ambitious streak, Miyuki would be able to secure an excellent job and begin her own life.

"Do you honestly think that I haven't thought of that?"

"That's exactly what I think. You're so afraid of breaking any rules that you won't even do it to save yourself.""

Disgusted, Miyuki pushed her plate away and began stirring packet after packet of sugar into her coffee so that her shaking hands had something to occupy themselves. "So I should just pack a bag and my toothbrush, is that it?"

"Yes."

"And go where?"

"Anywhere!"

"It's not that simple."

"Yes it is! You don't have to do it! Just leave!"

Sighing at her petulant tone, Miyuki tried to make her understand. Stirring her coffee, transfixed by the peculiar way the light was reflected by the motion of the dark liquid, she said, "I'm not like you, Shizuma. I can't just do whatever I want to do. I have responsibilities."

"Responsibilities? This isn't a responsibility! This is something far beyond that!"

"Is it?"

Round and round, Miyuki's spoon scraped the sides of the mug until Shizuma thought she might go mad.

"Yes! You shouldn't have to spend the rest of your life with someone you don't...oh, give me that damned spoon!" Seething when she realized Miyuki was only humoring her, Shizuma snatched the spoon from her and tossed it across the dining room. It landed on an elderly gentleman's table, though he was too surprised by airborne flatware to even raise a fuss. Looking over his shoulder, he noticed a few other customers, but none of them seemed to have any problems with flying cutlery. Shrugging, he turned back to his oatmeal and resumed eating.

Furious, Miyuki lifted her eyes from her study of the mug and met Shizuma's intense green gaze. Breathing rapidly, she tapped her fingers on the table as she tried to maintain some small amount of her usual composure. "With someone I don't _what, _Shizuma?"

Flustered by the unexpected directness of her response, Shizuma faltered before answering, "Well, you don't know him..."

"But I will."

The conviction in her voice almost frightened Shizuma. "And you don't love him..."

The waitress saw her tip melting away as the two girls argued. Running to their table, she refilled their mugs and asked them if everything was to their liking.

Miyuki leaned back in her cushioned seat and lifted a very annoyed eyebrow. "It's not as if that matters, does it Shizuma?"

"Don't be stupid! Of course it matters, Miyuki!"

Unsure if a large tip was worth getting sucked into the middle of what looked to be a long-running feud, the waitress bobbed her head and retreated to the safety of the kitchen. Eyes locked as they were, neither Shizuma nor Miyuki noticed her hasty departure.

Smiling grimly, Miyuki asked, "Oh really? This is interesting! Why does it suddenly matter so very much?"

"You shouldn't have to marry someone you don't love, you idiot!"

Could it be that Shizuma's indignation was the product of genuine _concern? _Miyuki nearly laughed at the thought. "Why shouldn't I? He'll serve as well as any other. At least he's polite."

"Polite? Do you think good manners are going to make you happy when you're cooking his meals and carrying his brats? I know for a fact that you aren't going to be impressed by his _manners_ when he's sweating on top of you and..."

Coffee spilled over the edge of the mug and splashed Miyuki's hand as she pushed it to the side. "Shut up."

"I'm not shutting up about anything. You _know_ that I'm right."

"And why does it matter to you?"

Shizuma's eyes narrowed as she saw the terror that Miyuki was trying so hard to hide. Taking her napkin and gently dabbing at the coffee that Miyuki didn't seem to notice, she took a deep breath and asked, "Do you truly think that I care nothing about you? About you and these _responsibilities? _ I don't want to imagine what you're going to have to do after you're married. I know that you don't..."

"You... Forget it. I can't talk about this here. Besides, it's not like I'll ever get the chance to..." Perhaps realizing what she very nearly let slip, Miyuki began searching her purse for some money to pay the bill. She had to leave and leave quickly.

The heavy specter of guilt sat on Shizuma's shoulder and began giggling madly in her ear, whispering to her of Miyuki's long, lonely nights and the even longer nights yet to come. "Like you can ever get the chance to _what_, Miyuki?"

Shaking her head, Miyuki tossed some cash on the table and stood from her seat. "Never mind. It's late and we need to go home. Mom is going to be livid that I'm taking so long. She wanted me to look at some hairstyles in this bridal magazine before..."

"Don't try to change the subject. What were you going to say?"

"I wasn't going to say anything."

"Miyuki..."

"Come _on, _Shizuma. My parents are going to kill me for being so late."

"No. We're not leaving until you talk to me."

The waitress peeked out at them from behind the double doors of the kitchen, but quickly ducked when she saw the darker girl turn on her companion. She wasn't sure, but before she stormed out of the dining room, she thought she heard her growl, "Then I guess you'll sit here all morning, because I have nothing to say to you."

* * *

Nagisa hoped that Miyuki's parents wouldn't mind that she pilfered a teapot and a few cups from their kitchen. The small table in the guest bedroom was perfect for a tea party, so with the help of a a couple of carefully arranged scarves and a few comfy cushions, Nagisa happily spent most of the morning and early afternoon readying their room for a pre-wedding girls night. Tea, cookies, lots of laughs; it would be a fun, relaxing way to spend some time with Miyuki before her big day.

The antique doorknob rattled and Shizuma stumbled into their room, arms full of shopping bags and boxes. Nagisa frowned. It was rare that Shizuma went shopping anymore, at least without company. She had a tendency to buy everything in sight if she didn't have Nagisa with her to temper her urges. Relaxing her brow so that Shizuma wouldn't notice how worried she had been, she chirped, "Hey! There you are! I was beginning to wonder if you guys might have ran away or something. "

Shizuma settled her bags on the bed and stretched her aching arms overhead. Removing her newly acquired sunglasses, she smiled and wearily greeted her precious girlfriend. "Hey."

"Where've you been all day? I thought you were just going for breakfast. It's like, five in the afternoon, you know."

After Miyuki abandoned her at the restaurant, Shizuma sat at their table while she reflected on their unhappy conversation. A growing sense of guilt wouldn't allow her to go back to the Rokujo home, at least not until she had sorted through her own confused thoughts. Wandering around town, unsure of what she was searching for, Shizuma bounced from shop to shop, purchasing any small thing that caught her eye. The bags on the bed were full of odd items: three pairs of nearly identical black heels, two slinky cocktail dresses, a polished wooden hair clip, a few pretty green ribbons that she thought would lovely against Nagisa's fiery locks, a few books, two bottles of merlot and two expensive sets of wine glasses.

Though she was already regretting the weight of her bags on her arms, a display in a small jewelry shop window convinced her that she needed to peek inside to see their wares as well. Everything was extraordinary; long strings of alabaster pearls caught the afternoon light and reflected rainbows of melted color and the gold of countless rings, necklaces, and bangles warmed the air where the cold fire of diamonds threatened to turn it to ice. Amazed by the skills of the artisan, she spent well over two hours lost in that shop, but until she discovered a delicate silver chain adorned with a stone the color of midnight, she thought she might not find just what she wanted.

Whether it was that her arms were just so full that she couldn't carry anymore or that one necklace was all she needed from the start, she left the last shop so she could hurry back to the Rokujo home, but not before making one last purchase. Charmed by a bakery with a gray cat on the steps and petunias in the window boxes, she also bought some sweet rolls for Nagisa as a peace offering for her rude behavior that morning. Sitting on the bed, she pulled the gaily wrapped box from one of the bags and held it out to Nagisa with an apologetic smile.

"Here. These smelled so good that I couldn't pass that shop without getting them for you."

Nagisa fell onto the bed next to her and happily kissed her cheeks. "Ooh! They look great! They'll be perfect for our tea party tonight!"

Shizuma tilted her head in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, since you had breakfast with Miyuki, I thought it would be nice if we could spend just an hour or two together with her, so a tea party seemed like it would be fun." Opening the box, she smiled in appreciation of the sweet aroma that met her nostrils. "And, you know, this way we can talk to her and wish her luck with her cutie of a husband."

Biting her tongue, Shizuma nodded in agreement. She hadn't been fair to Nagisa and she wanted to make it up to her, even though a tea party would do nothing to help Miyuki. "That sounds like a nice idea."

"Where is she, by the way? Did she not go shopping with you?"

Shizuma shook her head. "No. She, uh, had something she wanted to do..."

"What could be so important that she'd leave you to go shopping all by yourself?"

Shizuma shrugged and began sorting through her purchases. The shoes and dresses went into a closet, while the smaller items were tucked into a suitcase. Setting one set of glasses and a bottle of wine to the side as a gift for Miyuki's parents, she opened the other and offered a glass to Nagisa.

Wrinkling her nose, Nagisa waved off the glass of wine. "Ooh, no thanks. I think I had enough last night. I'll stick to tea this time."

"Are you sure?" Shizuma sat at the prettily arranged table and snatched one of Nagisa's stolen cookies. "This is actually very good with cookies."

"Eew! That's gross!"

Shizuma laughed and set the glass on the table. She just wanted to taste it to make sure that is was as good as the vendor promised so that Miyuki's parents weren't disappointed by her gift. "You're right. It is pretty gross. Why don't you start some tea while we wait for Miyuki to get home? I don't want to..."

_Where the hell have you been today? I've had your father searching everywhere for you and...what is that on your clothes?!  
_

At these screeched words, Nagisa and Shizuma looked at each other, then ran out of their room and started to descend the staircase. When they were halfway down the stairs, they could see Miyuki's mother circling her daughter at the front door, face red from barely contained fury. Shizuma started to go to her, but Nagisa held her arm and gestured that they remain silent and watch.

Unable to decide whether she was ready to kill her daughter for humiliating her at dinner or whether she was furious that Miyuki didn't take advantage of her chances and run far away from home, Mrs. Rokujo reached for her daughter and roughly jerked a small twig out of her dark hair.

"You've been at that stream again, haven't you?"

Miyuki stood in silence and stared at her muddy shoes. Unable to return home, she had walked for hours, deep in thought. A childhood spent with no siblings and few friends, she was often alone and spent many long days wandering the town and the surrounding countryside. Her father had once walked with her to a stream not far from their home and she often found herself returning to that place to sit and think. He had told her that the birds and the frogs were singing their spring song for her, and to her eight year old mind, it was both the silliest and most endearing thing she had ever heard.

It was late summer, however, and no birds and no frogs had been singing. There was simply the gurgle of water and the squelch of mud under her shoes.

"You are _not_ a child anymore, Miyuki. You can't just run off to play in the damned mud every time something doesn't go your way."

"I just wanted to take a walk."

Spying a drop of blood on her pants, Miyuki's mom grabbed her hand and pulled her close. "And look at you! You fell, didn't you?"

Relieved tears falling at the concern she thought she heard disguised in her mother's angry voice, Miyuki simply nodded. "It's just a scratch, Mom. I didn't really even fall. I just tripped over a log and caught myself on the trunk of a tree."

"What will your husband think when he takes your hand and sees a scrape like that?"

Miyuki ran her fingers through her hair and felt the strands stick to the blood on her palm. "You know, you're exactly right,_ Mother_. You should be more concerned with how my hand will appear to that man than you should be over whether I'm okay or not."

"Don't be silly. Like you said, it's just a scratch."

Miyuki wanted to scream, to take her mother's shoulders and shake her until she realized that she wasn't talking about her goddamned hand, but instead she softly replied, "Well, I suppose I need to get cleaned up, don't I?"

"Yes, that's a very good idea. And after you've taken a bath, I want you to go straight to bed so you'll be rested for tomorrow."

Miyuki nodded once more and walked towards the staircase, leaving a trail of muddy footprints behind her.

Slapping Shizuma in the arm, Nagisa stumbled in an attempt to return to their room before they were discovered eavesdropping on that unpleasant little discussion. Dragging her girlfriend along, she shoved her in the room and smoothed her hair, then waited for Miyuki to pass by their room before cheerfully greeting her.

"There you are!"

Miyuki tensed when she heard Nagisa's chipper tone, but unwilling to be rude, she stopped in the doorway and muttered a quick hello.

Pulling on her arm, Nagisa pushed Miyuki into a chair next to Shizuma and began preparing the first pot of tea. "We've been waiting on you forever, right Shizuma? You're the guest of honor for this tea party!"

Shizuma raised an eyebrow and finished the glass of wine she poured earlier. She had a feeling that she might need it. "You might say that."

"And look! We have tea and cookies, but don't tell your parents, 'cause I stole all this stuff from your kitchen, but Shizuma brought the sweet buns from a bakery and now we can all sit together and..."

Miyuki knew that Nagisa was babbling about something, but she was far too upset to care. She accepted her tea with a small smile and rested her chin in the uninjured hand. She had nothing else to do, so why not humor Nagisa for a few minutes? Though she wanted nothing more than to take a long shower and go to sleep, it was pleasant to think that the bubble of energy had gone to the trouble of preparing such a cute party for her.

They spent some time waiting for the tea, then sat in uncomfortable silence while they occasionally nibbled on cookies. Unhappy with the way her party was progressing, Nagisa took it upon herself to start a conversation, or at least tell an entertaining story. "...so then she tried to make it stick with superglue, but that didn't work either, and finally I had to do it myself. Now the wallpaper in our apartment looks great, but next time I think I'll do the work and just let her pick the design instead of the other way around..."

After nearly an hour of happily relating her stories about the dishwasher, the wallpaper incident, and an episode at the grocery store, Shizuma groaned and tried to break through another of Nagisa's tales of daily life. Left alone, she would chatter all night about topics that only she could find amusing. "Please, honey. I don't think Miyuki wants to hear how I demolished our bedroom."

"You're so right! We should be talking about her wedding!"

Miyuki's head jerked up when she heard that Nagisa was going to take her remarkable powers of chatter and gab and use them to talk about her. Looking over to Shizuma, she tried to shake her head, but Nagisa failed to notice her unspoken pleas for help.

"I've not had a chance to talk with you at all!" Seeing the glum faces across from her, Nagisa thought for a second and tried to make them cheer up. "Aren't you excited about your wedding? I just know that you're going to be a beautiful bride!"

Miyuki set her tea on the table and rose to leave before she fell apart in front of her friends. "I'm, uh, pleased that it will make my family happy, but..."

"And aren't you excited to be getting married to such a cute guy?"

Shizuma reached for Miyuki's hand, but she jerked it away and moved towards the door.

"Look, I uh, need to go. I'm still covered in mud and I need to take a shower." Giving Nagisa a very genuine smile for thinking of her, she thanked her for the party and bolted from their room to seek the solitude of her own.

Surprised by the tears she saw in Miyuki's eyes, Nagisa looked at Shizuma and asked, "What-what's wrong with her? I thought we could cheer her up after her mom yelled at her like that, but..."

Shizuma laughed bitterly and poured another glass of wine. "Are you blind or just stupid?"

"What?! Why would you say such a thing?"

Grabbing the bottle of wine and her glass, Shizuma stood from her seat and pushed past Nagisa to follow Miyuki to her room. "You must be one or the other to actually think that Miyuki should be excited about her wedding."

Mouth open in shock, Nagisa watched her go, then sat on the bed and looked at the crumbs of cookies scattered amongst the tea cups. Suddenly furious at Shizuma and her unpredictable behavior, she threw her pillow against the table and listened to the satisfying sound of breaking porcelain on hardwood floors.

* * *

"It's late."

A china cup clinked against its saucer as it was carefully lowered to the neat desk, just to the right of the mouse, as usual. Fresh tea safely deposited, Akane lovingly looked down at the dark hair of her weary girlfriend. A tall, athletic woman, she had to bend low to wrap her arms around those shoulders she loved so much, but it was well worth it to be able to rest her chin on her shoulder and drink her presence like one denied even the slightest taste of water.

"Why don't you come to bed?"

"I will, but..." Something was wrong. The glow of the monitor still held her attention. It had been weeks since they saw each other. What was so important that she kept flicking back to that one announcement on the screen?

"Mm. I've missed you." Akane smelled the familiar and much-loved scent of rose petals on her lover's skin. He eager lips traced a soft path along her smooth throat as she murmured, "I'll not schedule you for so much when you finish your next novel. I miss you far too much to keep you away for so long."

Tamao closed her eyes and relaxed in the warm embrace of her agent. It was nice to be home again, to feel the arms of her lovely Akane around her once more, though she had hoped to find the house empty, for a couple of hours at least. It had been a long flight and she was so tired that she didn't even want to bother unpacking her luggage. "It's not that bad."

That wasn't exactly the response she had hoped for, but Akane just figured that Tamao was exhausted. After visiting four countries to promote her novel, all of which were in Europe and so far from home, it was no wonder that she was being a little less friendly than normal. Kissing her temple, she whispered, "Come on. This is the first night we've had together in weeks. Let me run you a hot bath, then we'll go to bed."

"I'll be there in a little while."

The faint glow from that hateful screen seemed to be laughing at her. "Will you be very long?"

"No. I just want to finish this scene, then I'll come upstairs."

_...pleased to announce the union of their daughter...  
_

_...four o'clock in the afternoon..._

_...reception to follow the ceremony... _

Scene? What damned scene? Tamao was reading some sort of wedding announcement, not writing anything at all. Snapping back to her full, formidable height, Akane dropped the sweet tones she reserved exclusively for Tamao and found herself adopting the same matter-of-fact clip that she used to deal with publishers and their obnoxious henchmen. "Right. Well, when you finally do decide to come to bed, then don't bother waking me."

Tamao winced when she realized that she was neglecting Akane. She hadn't meant to, but that email she received from Chikaru was too important to ignore. "Oh sweetie, don't act like this. I said that I'll be right there after..."

"Never mind. I'm going to bed."

"Akane..." Turning around, she looked up to fully see Akane for the first time since she arrived home. Exceptionally attractive, her lean body toned from countless laps in the pool, Akane was one of the prettiest women she had ever seen and it always surprised her to know that she was hers. Looking closer, Tamao tilted her head and realized that something was very different about her. "Y-you dyed your hair."

Sneering, Akane crossed her arms and glowered at the screen. "Yes, well, you once mentioned that you like auburn hair, so I thought I'd try it, though now I'm questioning myself for doing it."

"It looks beautiful..." Smiling, Tamao tried to take Akane's hand, but hesitated when she stepped back a single pace.

"Don't touch me." Three hours. She had been home for three damned hours and she hadn't lifted her eyes from the monitor long enough to notice. Even after she did, it wasn't her that was beautiful, but her hair.

"Why not?"

"Just...just forget it." Spinning on her heel, Akane ascended the stairs to sleep in one of the guest bedrooms. At the topmost step, she leaned against the banister and ran her fingers through her hair, wondering why the hell she even tried anymore. The trips were getting longer and longer, and Tamao was more distant every time she came home. Glancing down to see if Tamao even noticed that she wasn't behind her, she was disappointed to see that she was already reading that announcement again. Had it just been her vanity that was insulted, she might have still called downstairs to wish Tamao good night, but since she was hurt far beyond mere bruised pride, she stalked up the hall to find a warmer reception in cold silk sheets than she had with her lover.

Finally left alone, Tamao considered running after her, falling into bed and holding her until morning, but she couldn't stop reading that email.

So Miyuki was really going through with it. Funny thing. And if Miyuki truly meant to get married, then that meant that Shizuma would be on the guest list. And if Shizuma was on the guest list, then...

Chewing her lip, Tamao glanced upstairs, then picked up a pen. Thinking for a moment, she began writing, hoping that Akane would understand why she had to go on an unscheduled trip. She had read her novel, after all, and had been the first one to push for its publication. Surely she knew that the lost little protagonist wasn't entirely a creature of her imagination.

Surely she knew...

_Dearest Akane, _

_I do hope you can forgive me, but..._

Crumpling the letter in her hands, Tamao turned off the computer and sat in silent thought. Akane dealt in pretty words every day, shuffling the best to the biggest publishers and reaping the monetary benefits, so any pathetic letter she could write would be nothing but an insult.

Sighing, she headed upstairs to find Akane so that she could try to tell her what she simply couldn't write.

* * *

Note: I tried to check for spelling errors and the like, but I'm almost high on cough syrup, chamomile tea, and throat lozenges, so if you see something I missed, just let me know about it. Also, please let me know if this seems really choppy. Reading back through it, I thought it seemed kind of jumpy, but like I said, I'm so drowsy right now that everything seems jumpy to me.


	6. Chapter 6

Water pooled on the tile as Miyuki stepped out of the shower and began toweling her hair. She supposed she should have cared that she would eventually have to wipe up the puddles, but at that moment, with her eyes stinging and red from her crying spell, she just didn't give a damn. No matter that she had just spent an hour weeping in the shower, the tears she shed simply weren't enough of a sacrifice for the mad terror curled in her chest. Furiously squeezing the water from her hair, she glared at the mirror and dared her reflection to start crying again.

Still drying her hair, Miyuki entered her bedroom to find Shizuma dancing to the low music sounding from the stereo system with a glass of merlot in one hand and the empty bottle in the other. Suppressing an unwelcome giggle, she leaned against the wall and watched her oblivious friend step and bounce as she lost herself in the steady thump and drive of the bassline. Though she wondered why she wasn't still at Nagisa's tea party, simply seeing her act so young and silly was enough to bring a weary smile to her lips.

Eyes closed, Shizuma sipped her wine and hummed a few bars, bobbing her head all the while. Thus happily diverted, she never noticed that Miyuki had moved just behind her, captivated by the careless way long strands of shining hair would slither and coil over her shoulders and down to her hips.

Eager to fall asleep, Miyuki meant to snatch the glass away and turn off the music, but she forgot why she even had her hand extended as she stepped closer and closer. If Shizuma was a siren, one of those ethereal songstresses crooning her irresistible lullabies, then Miyuki was the forgotten sailor subject to the whims of the uncaring tides and their cruel mistress. She was drawn to that figure by the speakers, fully aware that she might be dashed upon the rocks for daring to approach such forbidden beauty, yet well past the point where she cared. There was a time that she had been jealous of the liquid grace of her friend, but that jealousy had so quickly melted into admiration that she was never aware of the change. Watching her flow and ebb, it suddenly seemed to her that all music was a discordant jumble of noise until Shizuma decided to hypnotize the notes and force them into rhythm.

Slightly intoxicated, Shizuma breathed a few lyrics, still weaving the steps to a dance known exclusively to her and totally unaware that she had a most appreciative audience.

A light tap on the shoulder and a mischievous voice interrupted her dance. "Do you like this song?"

_"Pfft!" _Startled, Shizuma spun around and wiped her mouth on her wrist. "God! I thought you were in the shower!"

Miyuki smiled. "I was, but unlike you, it only takes me a few minutes to wash my hair."

"A few minutes? You just spent the better part of eternity in there! And I don't take a long time in the shower, thank you very much."

"You don't?" Playfully tugging a wavy lock of silver, Miyuki teased, "I suppose it does take a while though, washing all of this. I guess I can forgive you for using all of the hot water when we were in school."

Shizuma stuck her chin in the air and assumed a haughty pose, though the effect was somewhat ruined by the empty wine bottle in her hand. "I have _never_ used all of the hot water in all my life."

"Oh really? Then why was your skin always so pink every time you got out of the shower?" Miyuki looked down to the satin dress clinging so perfectly to her tiny waist, hugging her hips and thighs as if it realized that Shizuma was a creature of wind and flight. "And why are you dancing in my room anyway? Won't Nagisa be looking for you?"

Shizuma ignored this last question and wiggled the bottle in a manner reminiscent of an instructor who had finally had enough sass and needed to make a point very, very clear to a stubborn student. "Humph. I just enjoy hot water. You're the freak that always said you liked cool baths."

Impertinent little hussy. Miyuki laughed and took the bottle from her, carefully placing it in the trash bin under the desk. "I only liked cool baths because I got used to taking them after _you _had used all of the hot water night after night. It was either that or never take a bath again. I learned to like lukewarm water."

Shizuma glanced to the open bathroom door and noticed that there was no cloud of steam lingering after Miyuki's shower. Her own bathroom was always enveloped in a scented fog after her baths, so it seemed odd to her that she was able to see a mirror free from condensation.

Returning her attention to the conversation, she looked at Miyuki's face, then checked her legs. She wasn't pink at all; her eyes were red from crying, but her skin seemed flawless. "Even when you have your own bathroom, do you _still _take cool showers?"

"Like I said, I grew accustomed to tepid water."

"God, you're so weird."

Miyuki shrugged. "I suppose that it's good that you did that to me all the time. You've trained me, in a way."

Uncomfortable when she realized that her selfishness extended far beyond deliberate ignorance, Shizuma hurriedly gulped the last dregs of her wine and placed the glass on the desk next to the stereo. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I understand that my fiancé plays a lot of sports, so he'll probably like to take really hot baths as well. Sore muscles and that sort of thing..."

Shizuma adjusted a few random settings on the stereo and picked another song, trying in vain to think of something other than how _that man _offered Miyuki a napkin at the bar, how quickly _that man_ ran to fetch her a glass of water, how he _smiled_ at her when she thanked him. She seemed so grateful for _his _attention when he had done nothing at all. Nothing. He had no right to speak to her, to touch her, to know her. Miyuki was supposed to smile for her, not him. Unsure of just what she should say, she reached for her unsuspecting friend's hands and mumbled, "Hmm. Well, most everyone likes hot baths. I doubt he's any exception."

"What are you doing?"

Shrugging, Shizuma seized her arms and wound them behind her back. Grinning rather impishly, she forced Miyuki into a swaying, graceless waltz. It was entirely inappropriate for the heavy beat thumping from the speakers, but she didn't care. "You know, I kind of like this song and I want to dance."

"Then take the cd to your room and dance with Nagisa. I have to go to bed so that I can be ready for..."

_My wedding. Better get used to it. My wedding, my wedding, my wedding..._

"...tomorrow."

"God, why don't you shut up about that?" Shizuma pulled her closer and began moving. "He doesn't matter, anyway. Don't think about him right now."

Taught at Astraea Hill the steps necessary to be comfortable in a ballroom setting, Miyuki was able to waltz with the best, but she had little experience with _dancing. _She had no idea how to move when Shizuma pressed her hips into hers and placed her hands on her lower back. Unsure of what she should do, she simply closed her eyes and tried to ignore how closely Shizuma was holding her, how her body moved against hers, all warmth and heat and...

"Don't be stupid. I'm getting married tomorrow, so thinking about him is all I can do. I have no other choice."

Locks of damp hair were carefully pushed behind her ear by a practiced set of fingers. Miyuki felt her skin burn where Shizuma touched her, which made the chill from the water all the greater.

"Shh. Tonight you don't have a fiancé. Tonight you have me and that's all."

"Don't say that."

Shizuma laughed. The finality of fate had always terrified her, but no amount of screaming or pleading had never been able to sway the heart of such a callous judge. It was easier to laugh. She was going to lose her best friend the next afternoon and she felt as if she had never really known her. All the time they might have had to giggle and argue and cry and shop for shoes, time they might have spent debating the finer points of white wine, popcorn, and bad romantic comedies, time they might have had to just be happy with each other; that time was measured and spent.

"Why not? It's your last night to just be _you_ instead of _his. _This is our last night together, so you may as well enjoy it with me, right?"

"I can't enjoy it, not when you're..."

_...not when you're holding me like this and I'll never be able to do anything about it. Not when you'll go back to Nagisa and I'll be tossed to that man like a cheap cut of meat tomorrow afternoon. I don't think I'll ever be able to enjoy anything again if I let myself be happy with you, even for a single night. You've ruined any chance I've ever had at being content with my life. I've been blinded by the sun and no matter how many candles I may light, I'll never be able to see again. _

Shizuma brushed her lips against the pulse fluttering at Miyuki's temple, silently begging for forgiveness before cupping her face in her palms. "Why are you so quiet? It's _just_ a dance. Why don't you relax a little and just move with me?"

"You don't get it, do you? This isn't just a dance. Today is the first time in months that we've been alone together. You've not talked to just _me_ in so long and...and..."

Shizuma nearly lost a step when she realized that she was right. With the exception of their somewhat unpleasant breakfast, she couldn't recall the last time she had spoken with her without Nagisa hovering just behind her or chattering in the background.

_Hey Miyuki! We're going to a concert Friday and we have an extra pair of tickets! You're coming, right? Can you get a date or are you going to go stag again? _

_Hey! Chikaru just called. Yeah, yeah. She's really excited. No, but she wants to see everybody again. She's having a Shakespearean masquerade party to celebrate the opening of her new costume shop, so we're going to go as Othello and Desdemona. Chikaru thought it would be great if you could be Iago...what? No! God, chill out! I didn't even think about that! I just agreed because...Jeez, you're so sensitive sometimes._

_So then she tried to tell me that she thought she was getting fat, but I told her that she's crazy. I mean, you saw her last week. It's amazing that she can eat so much sugar and not gain any weight. Yeah! Exactly! She looks great, doesn't she? Can you imagine if either of us ate candy like Nagisa? We'd look like cows, right?_

_Why won't you come? But it's your birthday! Nagisa is going to meet us there with a picnic lunch, then we're going to go to the waterfall...what? But you have to! They have an observatory and...but you love the stars! _

_Well, I'd love to meet you for dinner, but I told Nagisa that we would watch movies tonight. She's rented one of those comedies you hate so much, but she's wanted to see it for months, so we're just going to stay in and veg out in front of the tv. Why don't you try calling...? What? Don't be silly! Go out! You might meet someone!  
_

Stupid. She hadn't really thought that Miyuki had been so lonely, not when she herself was so pleased with her own life.

That's what she had tried to tell herself since graduation, at any rate.

"Well, I'm here with you now and I want to dance."

The curves of the empty wine glass captured the faint moonlight filtering through the window, staining the silver lunar rays with the crimson still clinging to its shimmering facets. Miyuki imagined it refilling itself with a strange sort of fairy night-wine, a single sip of which would ensnare them forever, dancing in gardens tended by beings too beautiful for mortal eyes. Shizuma might as well have been one of those fairy children, taken from her home of glamour and magic, sent to torture all of mortality with her otherwordly charm.

Shaking her head, she impatiently grumbled, "This is ridiculous. I never have been able to keep up with you. I can't dance like you."

"Then don't dance like me. Just dance _with _me."

Wet hair and a bathrobe were certainly poor substitutes for an elegant up-do and eveningwear, but when Shizuma stared at her, those shadowed jade depths simultaneously pleading and commanding, Miyuki felt like a servant sent to a ball in the stolen gown of an empress.

Perhaps realizing that she had mesmerized her prey, Shizuma ran her thumb along Miyuki's cheekbone and muttered, "Forget him. Forget everything and everyone else except for me."

There was a brief second when Miyuki was able to do just that, looking into those chartreuse irises and catching a glimpse of something eternal, a flash of foxfire and flame, but the spell was broken when Shizuma suddenly leaned forward and lightly kissed her lips. Not entirely surprised by the impulsive act, Miyuki wondered if the fleeting touch could even properly be labeled a kiss. Soft and almost hesitant, the intimate gesture was much different than the last angry embrace they shared. Different, but far, far more dangerous.

Until Shizuma deepened the kiss and she tasted the ghosts of red wine on her tongue, she had never realized that sin could be so sweet. Her arm snaked around Shizuma's shoulders and she was kissing her back before she was aware that she was falling again. They stumbled and Miyuki realized who she was holding against her chest. Mumbling against her mouth, she tried to pull away, but Shizuma followed her even as she leaned backwards.

"Sh-Shizuma, please. Stop."

She didn't stop. She couldn't. If she held her tightly enough, then perhaps nothing could take her away.

"No. I don't want to stop and I _know _that you don't want to me stop either."

She moved closer and tugged at Miyuki's lower lip with her teeth, smiling when her captive began to beg for release. Nobody had ever resisted her charms quite as well as her old roommate, so the challenge intoxicated her in a way the wine couldn't touch.

"Please, Shizuma, don't do this to me. Not again."

"Again? What are you talking about?" Clutching her wrists, Shizuma held Miyuki's arms and pushed her down onto the bed. They struggled briefly and Shizuma was oddly reminded of pillow fights they had as children, when all she had to do to defeat her tenacious room-mate was stick out her tongue or cross her eyes. Considering this, Shizuma relaxed her grip, trusting her roving lips and sweetly whispered words to hold Miyuki tighter than her hands ever could. Flipping her hair to one side, she moved her mouth lower, trailing her tongue along Miyuki's throat until she began to whimper, stopping only when she softly bit the sensitive flesh where her collarbone was exposed by the robe.

"Stop, I'm begging you. You don't know what you're doing, so…"

"No, I know _exactly _what I'm doing." Shizuma silenced her with another kiss, forcing her lips apart and teasing a savage, almost guttural moan from the prim and refined bride-to-be. That primal sound moved something within her, something she thought Nagisa had long-ago banished. The part of her that still relished her conquests, the part of her that cackled in malicious glee when hearts were broken; this part compelled her to torture her long-suffering friend. Murmuring in her ear, hating herself for uttering the lie, she slowly whispered, "You must trust me, Miyuki. I won't hurt you."

_No, I will hurt you. God, before I fuck it up between us forever, make me stop. Please. I've never been able to do this to you. Not you. You're my Miyuki. You're my best friend and the only person I trust. Not even Nagisa means as much to me as you do. You've always been so different from the others and I'll hate myself forever if I do this to you._

Too much wine, too many fights with Nagisa, too much pain in her loyal friend's face; she wanted so badly to stop herself before she made Miyuki hate her, but she was too far gone to listen to the frantic whispers of her long-dead reason.

"Just let me do this for you, okay? Just this once..."

Miyuki's resolve proved to be even less of a challenge than the terrycloth barrier of the robe. A long-held dream was quickly dissolving into reality and it was far more frightening than any arranged marriage. Sensing that she would soon lose all desire to escape such a cleverly woven web, she tried to break free, but it did no good. Rolling onto her side, she mumbled something about Nagisa and betrayal, but fell silent when Shizuma tugged open the robe's cloth ties and toyed with her smooth skin. As her tormentor moved with her, sliding her hand down the warm expanse of her belly, she was gently persuaded to remain still. With those warm hands exploring her body, it wasn't as if she really needed much persuasion. Surrendering more to herself than to Shizuma's touch, Miyuki felt alive for the first time in her life. It was so easy to drift, to fall faster and faster, knowing that there was no net to prevent her from crashing to the earth. She loathed herself to discover that she welcomed the impact.

Shizuma knew her quirks and habits all too well. Though Miyuki had her back to her, she could tell that she had her eyes closed when her fingers drifted to the valley between her breasts, where the precious key representing everything good in her life had been protected for so long. Her soul and sanity were still intact, partly because Nagisa was able to sift through broken pieces and reassemble the lot, but if it hadn't been for the girl now trembling in her arms, there would have been no pieces left for Nagisa to repair.

Kissing her shoulder, she wondered at the taste of her skin and the scent of her shampoo. Had Miyuki ever allowed anyone other than her to get so close? Had she ever _wanted_ anyone else to get that close?

Would she soon allow _him_ to get this close?

Dizzy with the scent of lavender, Shizuma asked, "I never thanked you properly, did I?"

"Thanked me for what?"

Rolling her back so she could see her face, Shizuma drummed her fingertips on the space just above Miyuki's heart. The swell of her breast was _so _close and Miyuki was breathing _so _quickly...

"I never thanked you for guarding me the way you did, back when I needed you so much. For holding my key and..."

Eyes focused on the far wall, Miyuki swatted her hand away and answered without moving her gaze from the wallpaper, "Don't be foolish. You did thank me, but it was right as you took it back for Nagisa."

It was difficult to see her face when all that was offered was a profile. Shizuma glanced at the wall, saw nothing of interest, then resumed her languid study of Miyuki's curves. She had seen her naked countless times before, sometimes teasing her that she would make even jiggly Yaya jealous if she ever learned to use her ample gifts, but seeing her so exposed made it seem as if she were seeing her for the first time.

"Miyuki?" Slightly offended that she was afraid to look at her and almost certain that she knew the reason why, Shizuma angrily spat, "Why the hell do you do that?"

The design on the wallpaper seemed far less threatening than the woman stroking her skin and sending waves of unfamiliar heat through her body, so Miyuki failed to see the singular look of concern that flashed across Shizuma's face. "Why do I do what?"

"Whenever I get close to you, you always look away. Do I scare you that much?"

"You terrify me."

Laughing, Shizuma grazed Miyuki's breasts with a few strands of her long hair, painting an imaginary landscape with a silken brush. "I didn't realize that I was so frightful-looking. Nobody else has ever told me that I scare them so badly."

Miyuki almost laughed at the hurt tone in her voice. "Don't be like that. You know that you're beautiful..."

Suddenly realizing exactly what she said, ashamed of what they were doing and how hurt Nagisa would be, she tried to sit up and flee once again, but an amused Shizuma easily flung her back onto the bed and held her still.

Somewhat stunned that she would offer such an easy admission, especially after such a long time denying what had always been so obvious, Shizuma tauntingly asked, "Then why can't you stand to look at me?"

Finally meeting those emerald mirrors, Miyuki reached a tentative hand to Shizuma's face and ran her thumb along her lips. The contact was brief, but it was enough.

Almost.

"It's _because_ you're beautiful. I can't stand looking at you, knowing that you're not meant for me."

Both were enveloped in darkness when Shizuma bent her forehead to Miyuki's and lightly kissed the end of her nose. Concealed on either side by twin screens of perfumed silver, she whispered, "You're beautiful too. You're my beautiful Miyuki."

It wasn't true. It had never been true. She was intelligent and ambitious, a keen organizer and a brilliant strategist, but she had never been beautiful. That was for all those other girls. "Don't say things like that. Nagisa is the one you think is..."

"Shut up, Miyuki. Just shut up about Nagisa and listen to me."

Uncertain if it was her words or her hands that were finally persuading her to relax, she continued to trace aimless patterns down Miyuki's stomach while mumbling against her throat. "Even before I became the _Etoile, _people have always called me a beautiful shining star, but..."

"But what?"

"...nobody would have ever seen my brilliance without the dark sky behind me. Night is waiting and eternal, always there, just like my beautiful, loyal Miyuki."

Miyuki tensed when she felt a palm caress the crest of her hip. She was seconds away from pushing Shizuma off of her and screaming for her to go back to her precious Nagisa, back to the world where she was worshiped as a goddess, but an insistent hand carefully coaxed her thighs apart and lightly touched the warmth between. Hovering somewhere between guilt and desire, she started to breathe faster, unaware that every soft exhalation was urging Shizuma to explore further and deeper.

Leading Miyuki into a different sort of dance, guiding her shaking best friend with sure hands and nimble grace, Shizuma wondered why she hadn't yet told her to go to hell. She wanted to give her so much more than a quick fuck on her last night of freedom, but she also knew that she wasn't the one able to give her what she sought. Uttering a low growl, almost purring her frustration, she ravished Miyuki's mouth and used her hungry lips and clever tongue to say what clumsy words would never be able to express.

Murmuring her name over and over again, hoping that Miyuki would at least know that she was thinking only of her, she continued the delicate touches on her skin, finally parting her folds just enough to slip inside. The surprised gasps of the woman trapped underneath her were almost worth knowing that she would be despised for hurting her yet again. Miyuki reached for her shoulder, to either push her away or pull her closer, but Shizuma seized her hand and brought it to her mouth. Sliding the tips of Miyuki's fingers along her lips, she gave her a secretive smile, then used her tongue to massage them one at a time, eliciting helpless little moans as she drew her farther into her mouth.

Her lips were shining with moisture when she finally freed Miyuki's hand. "It's kind of funny, in a way. You're my night sky, but you've always kept away the darkness. I've never shown you how much I appreciate you. Even if it's just this once..." She was moving again, quick fingers just inside, darting in and out, sliding faster as Miyuki's body warmed to her touch. "...let me thank you for always being by my side, for being my night so I could remember what it's like to shine."

It was too much. Squeezing her eyes shut even as she reached for Shizuma's hand, her arm, her hair, _anything _to pull her out of the clouds and back to earth, Miyuki breathlessly pleaded, "Please stop. You have to stop before..."

"Hush." She moved deeper; her skilled fingers sliding, searching, seeking... "Don't you like it?"

Miyuki's chest hitched as violet fire flared from somewhere she wasn't even aware existed. "That's-that's not what I meant! This isn't right and..."

"Not right? We'll try something different then."

"No, we're going to stop right now. I know that this doesn't mean anything to you, so st-st..." Her eyes flew open in guilty disappointment when Shizuma's hand disappeared. She felt the bed move as Shizuma shifted her weight and moved lower, alternately kissing and nipping her flesh as she crept down her body.

She shivered and Shizuma smiled against her skin, smugly thrilled to see that she was able to make Miyuki seem a little less perfect and a little more human. A faint trail of red crescents showed the lazy meandering trail left by her mouth, some slightly darker than others where she had nibbled just a bit harder. Circling her tongue around her navel, she almost laughed when she imagined the timid virginal bride explaining those marks to her new husband.

Then she imagined what he might do and the laughter died in her throat.

No longer interested in gentle caresses, Shizuma raked her fingers along Miyuki's thigh and plunged once more into pulsing heat, controlling her marionette with slow, deliberate strokes. Miyuki muttered a curse and blindly groped for purchase on the tangled bedclothes, unable to stop herself from breathing Shizuma's name.

The corner of Shizuma's mouth lifted in a very satisfied smirk. "So, do you want me to stop _now_?"

"I don't know, just..." Yes and no were waging a fierce war inside of her brain, with neither gaining much of an advantage over the other. Reason and sensibility simply weren't equipped to withstand Shizuma's powerfully gentle onslaught, not when their former allies had already betrayed them. It seemed that her heart and body had been plotting for years to overthrow reason's iron rule, though they never before had the chance to initiate their coup.

A forgotten song floated overhead. She tried to focus on the music, on counting beats and pauses, sorting high notes from low, but it was useless. Nothing existed for her but Shizuma and the heat between her thighs. "I don't want you to stop, but you have to. This isn't...isn't..."

Her stuttered silence was permission enough. While one hand was busily occupied making Miyuki thrash on her sheets, the other stealthily moved underneath her back and lifted her hips a fraction, gently guiding her into position for the next step in her dance.

Smiling at the almost animal way she was writhing, Shizuma lifted her gaze from Miyuki's body long enough to peer at her blushing face. She was pleased to see that she had turned her far pinker than any hot shower could have done, though she hadn't even begun to show her the depths of her talent. Dragging her tongue down her hips and along the length of her thigh, she nibbled and sucked the inner side of her leg, sliding ever closer to the dark delta that was promised to another...

Promised to another that didn't even know her, that would probably appreciate her even less than she had over the years...

A sick fury possessed her, one born of her own mistakes, Miyuki's sad situation, and the surprising jealousy she felt when she imagined someone else touching _her _best friend. Visions passed through her mind of that grunting brute holding Miyuki down in a seedy motel, sweating and pushing and thrusting, ripping her apart and laughing when she begged him to stop. It was easier to imagine the shy man at the bar this way instead of thinking that Miyuki might actually like it when the wedding was over and the honeymoon started.

Lost in these unpleasant thoughts, she bit harder than she intended and tasted blood where her teeth pierced the soft flesh of Miyuki's thigh. Gently rubbing her thumb along the imprint, she growled, "I'm not losing you. Not to anybody. I'm not losing you to some fool that doesn't even know you."

Miyuki's hand fisted in Shizuma's hair, not at the sharp pain from the bite, but at the mention of her almost-forgotten fiancé. Jerking that fistful of hair and roughly pulling her upright, she peered into those green eyes that still haunted her sleep, searching for something she knew she would never find. "What did you just say?"

Unwinding her fingers from her hair, Shizuma held Miyuki's palm to her cheek and smiled, all predatory hunger and sudden selfish desire. "I'll be damned if I let him be the first one to touch you. You're mine, Miyuki. You've always belonged to me and he'll not have you."

Quickly sitting up, she violently pushed Shizuma away and covered herself with her damp robe. Voice shaking, she gathered what remained of her dignity and sadly croaked, "Get out."

"Get out?"

"Out!"

"But-but isn't this what you've always wanted?"

"No, not this." Miyuki didn't know if she was whispering or wailing. It didn't matter anyway. Nobody had ever listened to her no matter how loudly her silence screamed. "I never wanted _this_."

"This? But I thought you wanted me to...oh damn it. What the hell did I do?" She asked, but she already knew. Miyuki had finally had enough. Her pathetic advances were far too little and far, far too late.

"Nothing. You've done nothing at all, Shizuma." Covering her face, ashamed that she let Shizuma get so close to her again, she felt another sob creeping up her throat. "You've never done anything for me. It's always been about you."

"No! I was just trying to give you a chance to experience a little life before you were..."

Miyuki swallowed hard. "Don't lie to me. Not to _me! _I'm not one of your random fucks, Shizuma. You knew that this was your final chance to complete your Astraea collection before the last piece was sold to another buyer, so you thought you might lower the value for him by removing the damned packaging!"

_"What?!_ I never thought anything even _close _to that!"

"Oh really? Then why now? Why not years ago? Why do you _always _do this to me?"

"Do _what_ to you?"

"Why do you always tease me with what will never be mine? Do you enjoy breaking my heart over and over again?"

"Of course not!" But she did. A twisted part of her loved knowing that no matter who else drifted in and out of her life, there was always poor, loyal Miyuki waiting for her. Though Miator's president was known for her stoicism and poise, only Shizuma had seen the flashes of crushed hope none suspected from their leader. She drank Miyuki's loyalty like the rarest of nectars, a honey that became richer with every dripping comb torn from the hive. "I only wanted to give you one chance to know what it's like to..."

One chance. Miyuki wanted to take her _one chance_ and shove it down her throat. A life of sacrificing everything she wanted and everything she knew she could be, just to be offered _one chance. _"Oh yes! Of course! My chance! How could I be so silly? This is my _one chance_ to please the goddess and weep at her altar!"

"Don't _say that! _I was trying to think of you this time!"

Miyuki laughed. "Magnanimous as always, eh Shizuma? Or is this just some sort of wild wine-induced penance you concocted at Nagisa's little tea party? I'm flattered, but I hope you understand if I don't fall to my knees in gratitude."

"Oh for God's sake! I wanted this for _you_, not myself! I wanted you to have at least one good thing to remember when..."

"No, you _wouldn't _want me for yourself, would you? So it was a quick pity fuck for the forlorn bride, hmm?"

"That's not what I meant! You were supposed to..."

Miyuki raised her hand and shook her head. "Don't do this to me, Shizuma. Never again. Do you understand me?"

Shizuma blew a strand of hair off of her forehead and tugged at her skirt's disheveled seams. "It's not like it's going to matter, anyway. If not tonight, then I guess we'll never have the chance to..."

"Are you _blind, _you selfish bitch_? _It's been like this since we met Kaori! Do you honestly think that I was dreaming about rainbows and sunshine while you were off with her and Nagisa and the countless girls in-between?" Miyuki's cold gaze could have polished diamonds. "Don't ever speak to me of chances! I've given you so many and you've thrown them back in my face, so..."

"Miyuki, don't start…"

"No! I'm starting and I mean to finish! You'll hear me this _one time!" _Miyuki took a deep breath. Dwelling on her desires and disappointments was entirely different from speaking about them. Now that Shizuma was silent and waiting, now that she had the opportunity to scream all of her frustrations, all she could do was whisper, "After Kaori died and I saw how much it hurt you, I wanted _so much _for you to come to me so I could tell you it would all be better one day. But instead of talking to me, you started whoring around with those other girls. None of them gave a damn about you, but you spent every night with one of them instead of with me."

"God, I know that and I'm certainly not proud of it, but I don't see…"

Miyuki licked her lips and tasted the red wine and strawberry gloss from Shizuma's kiss. She wanted to tear her tongue out for daring to appreciate that sweet flavor. "I…I wanted you to know that I was there for you, always waiting for you, but you ignored me over and over again. Then you met Nagisa and everything was great for you, but where the hell did that leave me? Hmm? It wasn't just you that lost Kaori. She was my friend too, but I couldn't fall apart no matter how badly I wanted to. If I had done that, where would you have been?"

Shizuma swallowed hard. Where would she be indeed?

"You were a mess. An absolute mess. I wanted to break down just as much as you, but I couldn't because you needed me more than I needed myself." Oh, the tears were coming and she wouldn't be able to swallow them this time. Voice shaking, she pulled at a stray string on her robe and muttered, "I lost my two closest friends on the same day, but I couldn't...I couldn't..."

"Then why did you never say anything?"

She chuckled. It almost seemed funny, now that Shizuma seemed so confused. "Would you have listened?"

No. She wouldn't have listened. Miyuki knew her better than anyone else.

Miyuki finally freed the string and tossed it on the floor, noting the strange curve as it was forced to accommodate the fibers of the braided rug. "You know, even now I can only see the old you when you're with Nagisa. Do you _honestly _think that I've been happy knowing that I could never make you smile the way Kaori made you smile? The way Nagisa can make you smile now? Do you think I've been fine all these years knowing that _no matter _what I do for you, it's never enough?_" _

Truthfully, Shizuma _had _thought that Miyuki was fine. She certainly never changed her behavior after Kaori's early death, nor had she changed it after Nagisa swept through their lives like a lost autumn storm. If anything, she had become even more perfect than before, the feared president that never displayed any sort of weakness...except, perhaps, when it came to the _Etoile. _

_It's your duty, Shizuma. The students rely on you and you mustn't let them down._

_Sign here, and here, and here as well. Initial here. Yes, good, now once more at the bottom…_

_There's to be a breakfast and fund-raiser for Miator alumni on the seventeenth. I need you to make a quick introduction speech and shake a few hands. No, that won't be a problem. I've already written the speech for you, so all you have to do is present it._

_Are you serious? Of course you have to meet the equestrian club when they return. I can't be the one to do it. You know that. Don't look at me like that. It's because nobody cares about the class president; it's the Etoile they all want to see. You're the star of this campus whether you like it or not. Just because you're doing these things alone now…well, just because you have double the duties doesn't mean that you can ignore them. I'm doing my best to help you, Shizuma, but I can't help you if you won't let me. _

The constant badgering and the never-ending piles of paperwork…

The forms and decrees, the requests and documents, the meetings and presentations...

It had all seemed like such a hassle, signing all of those forms just so the sisters wouldn't come down on her for neglecting her tasks, and yet…

Had Miyuki not already completed the endless forms so that all remained was a quick signature or a series of initials…?

Had she not spent hours and hours on her homework and studies, then her duties as class president, then hours slaving over _her _work so that she wouldn't be in trouble…?

Had she not sacrificed every moment of her time to spare herself from dwelling on her dead friend and her hopeless love…?

"Miyuki, I only meant…"

Furious, but uncertain if she should direct her anger at Shizuma or herself, Miyuki jerked open the robe and gestured to the bite on her thigh. "I'm not stupid. I know exactly what this means."

"I didn't mean to..."

"Shut up." Poisoned affection bubbled in her throat, forcing Miyuki to snarl, "For whatever reasons, I've been cursed to love you. Believe me, if I could have chosen a different fate, I would have. Perhaps that makes me a fool, but I'm far from an idiot."

"I only...God, I only wanted to spend some time with you before tomorrow. I didn't mean to do that to you."

"Oh really? So this was just an accident, eh? My goodness. And here I am thinking that you've just branded me as your property because you couldn't stand to see me belong to anyone else." Laughing bitterly, the forgotten princess looked to her wayward prince. "You know something? You're no better than my parents."

"Miyuki...God, don't act like this. I don't think that you're my..."

"Spare me whatever half-baked justification you might have. You said that you wanted to spend some time with me before tomorrow, but it wouldn't matter even if you decided to dump Nagisa and spend the rest of your _life_ with me. You're never just _you _around me anymore."

"I only wanted you to..."

"Forget it. You're not worried about _me, _Shizuma. You're just upset that you might lose your sounding board for the next time your heart gets broken." The twisted serpent of vengeful malice uncoiled itself and started swaying to the lost rhythm in Miyuki's voice. "Nagisa _is _healthy, isn't she? I'd hate for you to lose another girlfriend while I'm married to Tadashi. Quite frankly, I don't know if you could handle the loss."

This wasn't Miyuki. Not at all. Shocked, Shizuma stammered, "W-what the _hell_ is that supposed to mean?"

Hands clenching around the fabric of her robe, Miyuki spat, "Don't be an idiot. You know exactly what I mean. Once I'm married, you know that I won't be there for you anymore, and we both know that you bleed better if you can cut someone else to bleed with you."

Shizuma reached for Miyuki's hands, hurt more than she cared to admit when she tore them away and clasped them together in her lap. "Miyuki, you're my best friend. You always have been. I-I love you and I don't want to see you like this, so please don't…"

Grabbing Shizuma's chin and smashing her lips together, Miyuki spoke in a deadly whisper, "Don't _ever _say that to me. There isn't an auditorium full of students for you to impress this time, so save your oh-so-dramatic confessions. Talk to Nagisa if you want to talk of something as silly as _love." _

She squeezed harder, deliriously amused that Shizuma's glorious absinthe eyes were filling with tears. "You once asked me what I knew of love, about what I could _possibly _know about loving someone from the heart. Do you remember that?"

Shizuma remembered. Oh yes, she remembered. Words muffled by the tight grip on her chin, she mumbled, "How could I ever forget?"

"Love doesn't exist for all of us, so speak to me only of things that I can _understand_. I don't know what you're talking about when you speak of _love, _remember? I'll never know it, so save your pretty words for someone else_._" These last words were spoken with such venom, such rancor and despair that Shizuma finally began to understand what sort of life awaited her after marriage. Blinking rapidly, she finally understood what sort of life she had lived the entire time they had known each other.

Placing both of her hands on Miyuki's wrist, she tried to apologize for the years of pain she caused her dearest friend. "Miyuki, please believe that I'm so, so sorry for..."

Her head snapped to the right when Miyuki furiously pushed her away. "Don't waste your time being sorry. I've never begged for your pity or your love and I don't want either now."

"But..."

Pulling her robe even tighter, Miyuki wrapped her arms around herself and stared at the window on the opposite wall. The air-conditioning forced the heavy drapes to swing slightly, reminding her that she was still sitting in her bathrobe with tangled damp hair. Shivering, she rubbed her hands along her arms and whispered, "Not when it's too late."

"Miyuki, please..."

"You should go to bed, Shizuma. You'll need your rest for tomorrow."

"And what about you? Are you going to rest if I leave you here alone?"

"Look, I'm touched by this sudden concern, but let me assure you that I'm perfectly fine. Go back to Nagisa before she wonders what's happened to you."

"I don't give a damn about Nagisa right now." Placing one finger underneath Miyuki's chin, Shizuma gently turned her head so that she could the broken eyes of her closest and most devoted friend. "In spite of what you say, you need me tonight."

"I told you that I'm _fine, _so please, before I lose all patience, get the hell out."

"No. You're not. You're not fine at all."

Scoffing, Miyuki jerked her head away and moved to the window. A thin curtain of clouds shielded the gaze of the jealous stars while the moon occasionally winked and flirted with her earthen lover below. She smiled, grateful that her last night was at least a pretty one. She still had the night sky to console her when everything else had fallen apart. "You're right. I'm not fine, but I'll figure out how to be. I've gotten very good at it."

"Miyuki..."

"Go. Please. I need time to...I need time by myself to think. You...distract me."

Shizuma adjusted her twisted clothing and moved towards the door, ashamed of herself for breaking that small part of Miyuki that had managed to remain whole over the years. Her hand was on the knob when she heard a little girl sniffing by the window, a little girl that once hid in hallways so that she wouldn't be teased for crying.

Leaving her alone again was forgotten. Crossing the room in quick strides, Shizuma wrapped her arms around Miyuki and held her as sobs wracked her body. "Stop. You have to stop crying. Don't cry for me anymore."

The sobs grew deeper, ragged.

"Shh. Please. Can't--can't you see that I'm poison? You're going to lose yourself and I can't stand knowing that it's my fault. I'm so, so sorry. I should have realized a long time ago just how much you love..."

"Don't _say _it._" _

Weeping into her shoulder, ashamed of her cowardice and pathetic dependence on her heroine, Miyuki clutched at the river-nymph satin that had earlier seemed so beautiful to her. "Will-will you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Will-will you sleep with me tonight?"

Shizuma said nothing. The request was so childlike and so simple that she didn't know how to respond.

Petrified that Shizuma misunderstood her, Miyuki hurried to add, "Like you used to, back when I was so homesick and I had such terrible dreams? Please?"

Smiling at a long forgotten joke, Shizuma sadly quipped, "Just for tonight?"

Hearing the sorrow in Shizuma's voice, Miyuki wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and replied, "Just tonight."

Taking Miyuki's hand and guiding her towards the bed, Shizuma searched through her dresser to find an extra set of pajamas. While changing into a borrowed shirt, the buzzing from her silenced cell phone on the desk reminded her that Nagisa was still waiting in the guest bedroom. She glanced at the bed to see if Miyuki might have heard the faint sound, then turned it off before she even looked at the number on the display screen. Nagisa would have to wait for one night.

Sliding under the comforter, she pulled Miyuki close to her chest and instantly felt the thin cotton of the worn shirt grow damp from its contact with her cheek. "You know that you used to keep the entire dorm awake with your bawling if I didn't sleep with you, don't you? I could never get any rest until I let you crawl into my bed and steal all of the covers."

"I always thought it was _you _that stole the covers."

"Well, sometimes, I suppose..."

Miyuki closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, remembering long-lost nights when she felt safe and complete. "Shizuma? Before tomorrow, could I ask you something?"

"Hmm? What is it?"

"Do you think...?"

It was just a question. It shouldn't have been so difficult for her to ask, but it was the hardest thing she had ever done.

"Do I think what?"

"We were so close back then. If you had never met Kaori or Nagisa...do you think that you could have ever thought of me as more than just me? More than just Miyuki?"

"Miyuki, I can't answer that without..."

"It's okay. You can tell me no. I _need _to hear you tell me no so I don't dream about it anymore. I need an end to this before tomorrow."

She could tell her no and give her a chance to find peace. She could deny that she ever felt anything beyond friendship for her so that she might one day forget her, but Shizuma didn't want Miyuki to forget her. "No. I'll never tell you that because if things had been different... Oh hell, Miyuki. Why do you always have to think so much?"

"So the only way I'd ever be first in your thoughts is if you had never met either of them."

When Shizuma kissed her again, lips flitting over hers with the softness of lilies floating on pools of water, Miyuki didn't pull away. Returning the kiss with a ferocity that surprised both of them, she closed her eyes and allowed herself to pretend. She had one more night to lie to herself, one more night to pretend that she had someone to love her.

Only when they tasted salt on their tongues did they separate and look at each other.

Miyuki was startled to see that she was no longer the only one weeping. She rubbed the faint trail of mascara trickling down Shizuma's cheek and looked at the smudge in amazement. "You've never let me see you cry before. "

Shizuma shook her head and wrapped her arms around Miyuki, pulling her down with her into the nest formed by pillows and blankets. She swiped her cheeks and kissed her dark hair, fighting to regain control so that she could do what had always been done for her. She could keep Miyuki from breaking, even if it was just for just a few hours. She owed it to her. "Never mind that. If I stay, are you going to cry all night like you did back in school?"

"Probably..." Miyuki laughed an empty, mirthless laugh. "...since tonight is all I have left before the real bad dream begins."

It was really happening. Miyuki was going away and there was nothing either of them could do about it. Choking, Shizuma replied, "Well, as long as you don't steal the blankets, then you can cry all you want."

There was silence for a moment as they settled closer together and listened to each other breathe. Miyuki buried her face in the scented hollow between Shizuma's neck and shoulder, inhaling the warm, heavy scent of vanilla.

"Shizuma?"

"Hmm?"

Her words were muffled, but they didn't need to be clear for Shizuma to understand every heartbroken intonation. "Don't let go of me tonight. I'm so scared and you're the only one that's ever been able to make me feel better. Please don't let go."

"Don't let go?"

"Please. Just tonight. Let me have you for myself tonight."

Shizuma said nothing, but closed her eyes and tried to think of night skies when Miyuki would no longer be one of them.

"Shizuma?"

"Hmm?"

"What's going to happen to us?"

The simplicity of the question surprised her. "I don't...I don't know, but it doesn't matter tonight. Just--just go to sleep."

"I c-can't."

"God, don't start crying again." Shizuma pulled her closer when it seemed that Miyuki might shuffle to the other side of the mattress. "Are you going to make me hold you all night just so you won't start crying?"

"Not if you don't want to..."

"Miyuki, I..."

"Hmm?"

"I want to...Never mind. Just try to sleep."

Shizuma held Miyuki until broken sleep and fitful dreams finally claimed her. When her breathing became slow and even, she carefully pushed a strand of hair off of her cheek and whispered, "You're such an idiot. I've always loved you _too much _to love you. Why the hell could you never see that?"

Stroking her hair and guarding her slumber, she held her beloved best friend until the sun rose and flooded the room with a hazy pink light, almost as if in silent apology for bringing such darkness with its happy morning rays.

* * *

Note: Whew! Man, that was super-dramatic. Susan Lucci? Susie Lu? Where are you when I need you? I felt like I was writing for a soap opera for a few minutes. Trust me, this is as sad and boo-hoo weepy as I'm going to make Miyuki. I don't like her character because she lets people push her around, after all. I want to explore the kick-ass side of her personality too.

Let me know if this was really, really, you know, choppy. It's been a while since I've updated and I think that fucked with the flow of things.

And sorry, but I didn't want to do a really kinky lemon, at least for this particular fic. Let's leave things to the imagination and all that shit. I had something much, much different and a lot more detailed written, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Miyuki is much too classy a character for kink. For some reason the thought of putting Miyuki and typical romance novel-ish words like 'nipple' or 'heaving' in the same sentence just irritates the hell out of me.

Shizuma always struck me as a very controlling and possessive character, one that would be fairly brutal in the sack, especially if she thought that her partner's mind was on anyone but her. That girl has control issues. I always felt so bad for Miyuki when Shizuma worked her black magic and made her so uncomfortable in the anime. I'm sure everyone else noticed how she _always _looked away whenever Shizuma got close to her. Every. Single. Time. If they were discussing schoolwork or government duties, she'd look directly at her, but anytime it was personal, she immediately found something interesting on the wall or the floor. It's a shame the poor girl had to be roomed with such a force of nature. She never had a prayer. That scene with the key? God, poor Miyuki.


	7. Chapter 7

The wedding was beautiful.

_Wear this for me. I looked everywhere for it._

Lilies.

_I'm not sure what stone it is, but it's blue. Midnight blue. _

White lilies.

_It's the same color as the sky at night. It's for you, just because...well. I told you last night, didn't I?_

Everywhere.

_Please. _

Lilies.

_Don't look at me like that._

The vows were exchanged amid a cascade of sky-white lilies. Miyuki recited her lines perfectly. Tadashi stammered just once.

_Don't cry. Not today. You can't. _

Her mother wore one in her hair, the white petals curling just behind her left ear like she was trying to hear the sea. Her father wore one over his heart, pinned to his collar by a simple safety pin.

_Look. If you hold it to the light, you can see the stars._

Nagisa wore green and Shizuma wore the sun and everywhere there were lilies.

_Wear this for me. Wear it tonight, then tomorrow._

Her mother had been impressed by the ice sculpture, a swan frozen in a grotesque, twisted dance. Her father had broken off one of the swan's feathers to chill his whiskey.

_Please. It's for you._

_

* * *

_

The wedding was beautiful.

_Nice ceremony. You look really nice. _

Lilies.

_This is Alex, by the way. _

White lilies.

_He likes your flowers. _

Everywhere.

_Did you plan for everything to be white? _

Lilies.

_Your hair is very... nice. Should have worn some blush, though. Given your pallor, one would think you were at a funeral instead of a blessed, happy affair like your wedding. _

The vows were exchanged amid a cascade of sky-white lilies. Miyuki recited her lines perfectly. Tadashi stammered just once.

_Great job with the vows. How long did it take for you to rehearse that so you could...ow! Stop it, Alex!_

Her mother wore one in her hair, the white petals curling just behind her left ear like she was trying to hear the sea. Her father wore one over his heart, pinned to his collar by a simple safety pin.

_Your parents have invited me to lunch tomorrow, but I don't think I'll be able to attend. I'll send an email expressing my regret when I get back to my office. Seems I've lost my appetite. _

Nagisa wore green and Shizuma wore the sun and everywhere there were lilies.

_Here's my card. Call me after you've given birth to child number three. I understand that children lose their dimpled apple-cheeked appeal after they start to become a litter. _

Her mother had been impressed by the ice sculpture, a swan frozen in a grotesque, twisted dance. Her father had broken off one of the swan's feathers to chill his whiskey.

_Nice swan, by the way. Next time you get married, try something a bit more subtle, like shackles in a block of ice. You could make a game of it. Instead of tossing a bouquet, give your bridesmaids some ice picks and tell them to have at it._

_

* * *

_

The wedding was beautiful.

_This place is pretty nice, isn't it?_

Lilies.

_Hey! Look at this! Have you ever seen a pillow this size? It's bigger than you are!_

White lilies.

_Is it warm enough in here for you? I could adjust the temperature, if you want._

Everywhere.

_It was nice of them to put all these flowers in here, wasn't it?_

Lilies.

_Are you hungry? We could go out and get some dinner. Or we could have something brought up to our room? _

The vows were exchanged amid a cascade of sky-white lilies. Miyuki recited her lines perfectly. Tadashi stammered just once.

_Could you tell how nervous I was? I messed up, but I don't think anyone noticed. Do you? _

Her mother wore one in her hair, the white petals curling just behind her left ear like she was trying to hear the sea. Her father wore one over his heart, pinned to his collar by a simple safety pin.

_Your dad shook my hand. Do you think he likes me? _

Nagisa wore green and Shizuma wore the sun and everywhere there were lilies.

_Your friends are really nice. The girl with the red hair...jeez. I've forgotten her name. I'm sorry. Anyway, she hugged me like she had known me for years. The taller girl seems nice too, but she was kind of quiet._

Her mother had been impressed by the ice sculpture, a swan frozen in a grotesque, twisted dance. Her father had broken off one of the swan's feathers to chill his whiskey.

_Not hungry? Well, would you like some wine? _

Lilies and ribbon and satin and lilies, lilies, lilies.

_Are you okay? We don't have to do this. I know, but..._

Shion and the nearly silent sibilance of the napkin she was shredding in her lap...

_Am I hurting you?_

Shizuma and Nagisa and their fingers intertwined between them...

_Oh God, are you crying?_

Her mother and father and those goddamned lilies...

_Please don't cry. I'm so sorry. _

This man and how he was looking at her...

_Let me get you a glass of water. Just...wait here. I didn't mean to...I'm sorry._

Why was he speaking? Why wouldn't he shut up?

_Are you really okay? _

What gave him the right to look at her like that?

_Your hair is kind of flipped over your...here. Can I get it for you? It's just...there. That's better._

Why was he acting so...

_You were really beautiful today. I don't think I've told you yet, but you really..._

Stop it.

_I just wanted to tell you that._

Stop.

_Um, maybe we should just call it a night? _

Yes.

* * *

Note: Hundreds of apologies for this extremely late update. Life has kicked my ass lately.

Anyway! Here is a short update because I really feel that the rest of this fic should be part of a different 'book' in a way, since this is basically closing one section of Miyuki's life and opening another. So consider this the end of part 1, I suppose, even though the rest will be part of the same fic. And yes, this is short and jagged. I just feel that Miyuki's wedding would seem very unreal to her, more a sequence of blurred events instead of one big occasion.

Also! I highly recommend everyone read _Legato_, by Hazel Liebovsky. Excellent, excellent fic with an extremely unique take on Shizuma's character.


End file.
